Behold Ernie, ‘Creature of the Night’.

    
It’s the eyes – they’re all “in league with Lucifer”. Well that’s one way to get sh*t done.

Not gonna lie – a little scared right now.



Gulbis d. del Potro 6-2 6-4

When he broke his 5 match losing streak with a win over Malisse,  it was a mere curiosity.

When he followed it up it  with a straight sets win, it was a reminder that, whatever else you might think of him, he’s still relevant.

When he dusted off Delpo 2 and 4 last night, it became a “thing”. Oh yeah, I think we can call it that now.

By all accounts (after hours for me), it was a one-sided demolition with Ernie reminding us of why he is indeed a thing, why he’s always been a thing.

I doubt very much that Delpo would have underestimated the threat, but he cannot have expected this.

Here’s hoping this form carries over. Not to rain on anyone’s parade, but this ain’t a Slam (not even a Masters 1000) – Ernie hasn’t been beyond one of those in his last 7 attempts.

*That* particular streak needs to end too. And FAST. Else this ain’t a “thing”. Not even close.




Williams d. Sharapova 6-1 6-3

I know I was meant to have been all “IT’S ON” ever since it was clear these two would meet – I just couldn’t dismiss the possibility of precisely this kind of a letdown.

But I would have preferred it if Pova had simply been tuned – far better to have simply been able to say “too good” rather than imploding the way she has all too often recently.

As it happened, Pova was neither here nor there – she simply looked utterly terrified of Serena (so I’m told).

"I think I’ll need to win a couple of more matches before it becomes a true rivalry," said the fifth-ranked Sharapova, who is now 2-7 against Serena and who hasn’t beaten her since 2004. "It’s not really a rivalry until I win few more matches. She’s experienced enough to know that even if it’s a small or big event you have to go out there and do our job and still go out there and win it."

Not that Serena instilling fear in her opponents should surprise any of us. But it’s a little disappointing when that opponent happens to be one of the best competitors the sport has ever seen – perhaps the only player  left in the WTA with the requisite mental hardware to pose Serena a challenge.

Still, as with Ernie, this ain’t a Slam is it, so what does it matter? Right? Right?

“I decided it’s time to get serious not only at the Slams but every other tournament as well.”

-- Serena Williams

OH.

Sabine next. On paper, this spells all sorts of Boombastic. But then that’s what we said about the Wimbledon semis.

Obligatory Happy Domi pic.

No one else serenading the run she’s been on, so I will.

4th round or better at every Slam. QFs or better at three out of the four.

She plays Marion in the semis in a match custom built to test my loyalties to the nth degree.

Wimbledon 2011: Women's Final Preview

by Mad Professah, contributing writer 

This year I correctly predicted 3 of 4 men's quarterfinals, 4 of 4 women's quarterfinals, 1 of 2 men's semifinals and 2 of 2 women's semifinals. 

Here are my predictions for the women's final at the Wimbledon Championships for 2011.

Maria Sharapova RUS (5) vs. Petra Kvitova CZE (8). For the first time since 2006 there will not be a Williams playing the final women's match at Wimbledon. Instead we have the now-veteran Maria Sharapova, at 24, seeking her 2nd Wimbledon crown and 4th major title overall. After she broke through as a teenage phenom to win Wimbledon in 2004 by blasting Serena Williams off the court in straight sets many hailed the blonde, blue-eyed Russian as the new Ice Princess of Tennis and her face quickly became the most photographed countenance in all of women's sports, leading to untold riches off the court in the endorsement jackpot. However, since those heady days, Sharapova has only won 3 major titles, like clock work, every even year: 2004 Wimbledon, 2006 U.S. Open and 2008 Australian Open. This put her in the company of past champions like Lindsay Davenport, Jennifer Capriati and Kim Clijsters and not legends of the game like Martina Navratilova, Chris Evert or Serena Williams. Sharapova's metronomic Grand Slam winning pattern was interrupted by an October 2008 shoulder surgery after which she suffered the indignities of failing to get past the Round of 8 in any major for two full calendar years due to intermittent serving difficulties.

However, now it's 2011 and  for the last month or so Sharapova has gotten back to doing what she does best: hitting the bejeezus out of the little yellow ball into the corners of the court followed by an ear-shattering "grunt." She came very close to completing the career slam in Paris but was outlasted by a steadier player, Li Na who went on to win the title.  

Her opponent is a 21-year-old first-time finalist from the Czech Republic, the same age the great Martina Navratilova was when she won her first of 9 Wimbledon singles titles. Whether Petra Kvitova will go on to as storied  a career as her fellow countrywoman is something we can not know now, but the two have a lot of similarities in their games. They both are big-serving lefties, with hard-hitting ground strokes on both wings and a willingness to approach the net. Martina was the consummate serve and volleyer, the dominant strategy of her era, while Kvitova is the epitome of the modern game, able to blast winners from any position in the court.

Sharapova has not dropped a set on her way to the final and hasn't had to play anyone very troublesome along the way, except for wild card Sabine Lisicki. The German had been playing some of the best grass court tennis of the year, dispatching Marion Bartoli (who had dismissed 2-time defending champion Serena Williams) and Li Na in two very exciting matches. The mouthwatering "Mean Girls" quarterfinal with Sharapova and "World #1" Caroline Wozniacki never materialized because Pocket Rocket Dominika Cibulkova dismissed the new It girl in the 4th round and was rewarded by being demolished by Sharapova in the quarterfinals. Hometown favorite Laura Robson was able to ride the crowd's enthusiasm to a first-set tiebreaker in the second round but Sharapova hasn't even faced a set point for the entire tournament.

Kvitova, on the other hand, has had to play 3 tough sets to go through World #5 Victoria Azarenka and had another tight 3-set match with Tsevetana Pironkova, the woman who dismissed Venus Williams, the best female grass-court player of her generation from Wimbledon, in two consecutive years by the same exact score!

Head-to-head the two have played only once with Sharapova winning easily (on clay before Kvitova made her breakthrough by reaching the semifinals of Wimbledon last year). The intangibles definitely favor Sharapova; she has won before, this is her 5th major final, it is Kvitova's first. However, if you look at their style of play you see that Sharapova has had 11 more double faults than aces (32 to 21) while Kvitova has 22 more aces than double faults (35 to 13). Summary: Kvitova's serve is a weapon, while Sharapova's is a liability.  Generally, on grass, the person with the better serve wins, unless the other person has better movement and better returning. Sharapova does have a better return than Kvitova: she will go for a direct winner on both first and second serves. Is Sharapova a better mover than Kvitova? Doubtful, though quite honestly neither of them are superb in this category. All-in-all, Kvitova has the game to win the title, and I believe she will.

MadProfessah's PREDICTION: Kvitova. 

Wimbledon 2011: Women's Semifinals Preview

by Mad Professah, contributing writer 

Here are my predictions for the women's semifinals at the Wimbledon Championships for 2011. I predicted 4 of 4 women's quarterfinals correctly and 3 of 4 men's quarterfinals correctly. Last year I predicted 2 of 2 women's semifinals correctly.  

Maria Sharapova RUS (5) vs Sabine Lisicki GER . Sharapova appears to be returning to the form that has led her to win 3 major tournaments (2008 Australian Open, 2006 US Open and 2004 Wimbledon) so far after surgery in 2009 really deteriorated her game. Lisicki is a wild card has put on two amazing performances on Wimbledon Centre Court this year, dismissing 2011 French Open champion Li Na in the 3rd round and eliminating 2007 Wimbledon finalist Marion Bartoli in the quarterfinals. With both Williams sisters gone from the tournament (this was Serena's half) this is the most wide open Wimbledon in over a decade. If  you start to match up the two player's games Lisicki has the better serve, while Sharapova has the better return. 

Sharapova has the better second serve, or at least she goes for more, but this also makes it less reliable. Sharapova has 19 aces but also 19 double faults over 5 matches so far. Lisicki has 44 aces and only 13 double faults. Sharapova has a total of 126 winners while Liscki has 157, including an incredible 52 winners in the round before in her 3-set win over Bartoli. Lisicki is probably the better mover but Sharapova is faster than she appears and can do more with the ball when she gets there. Analyzing their groundstrokes you have to give a big advantage to Sharapova, especially on the backhand side, with the forehand side being a bit closer. On grass you have to give the edge to the better server (Lisicki) but all the intangibles (been in this position before, mental toughness) go to Sharapova.I would be delighted if Lisicki wins, but I think it's more likely she will falter than Sharapova will. I was very surprised that Lisicki had to play a 3rd set against Bartoli, after having 3 match points in the second set, but she shook that off to win 6-1. If she gives that opportunity to Sharapova to come back, the Russian will reach her 2nd Wimbledon final. PREDICTION: Who I think will win: Sharapova, Who I want to win: Lisicki.

Victoria Azarenka BLR (4) vs. Petra Kvitova CZE (8). This should be the more interesting match of the two because the higher ranked player is the one with the less experience being in the semifinals of Wimbledon. However, I'm sure in her own mind Azarenka feels like she should have won a major already. Azarenka is like a young Novak Djokovic in that early in his career the Serbian retired in a number of important matches and Azarenka is (in)famous for her withdrawals from multiple matches, especially this year.

They are both incredibly talented players and you totally expect them to win multiple majors. Djokovic has met (and possibly even exceeded) expectations but Azarenka is still waiting for her big breakthrough. If you look at each of the semifinalists' records to this point Azarenka has only had 10 aces to 9 double faults in 5 rounds. Kvitova has had 26 aces to 11 double faults. Interestingly, when you match up their games you see that Kvitova has the better serve and the better ground strokes. Azarenka is by far the better mover and I think the intangibles are pretty even. Kvitova disappointed me when she lost a 2nd set tie-break to Tsevetana "Venus-killer" Pironkova with some bad misses on attempted winners. Then again, like Lisicki, she won the deciding set pretty easily. This second match should be closer than the first semifinal with Kvitova, another left-handed female player born in Czechoslovakia like the great Martina Navratiilova, reaching her first (but probably not her last) Wimbledon final. PREDICTION: Who I think will win: Kvitova, Who I want to win: Kvitova.

Wimbledon: The stuff Slams are made of.

Lisicki d. Bartoli 6-4 6-7 6-1

You just can’t play two 3 setters in week one (one of which goes 9-7 in the third), follow that up with an emotionally-consuming win over one of the greatest players of all time, and then expect to be at your optimal level only 24 hours later.

That’s a big ask for anyone, let alone Marion.

Having played that much, I don’t think I’m reaching when I say that she could have done with the extra days rest – or that it could have been a very different result had she had that rest.

Coulda-shoulda-woulda….this is the stuff Slams are made of.  You might even argue the mental cost associated with pulling off a win over Serena sapped her of more vitality than any number of 3 setters would.

My guess is she knew that only too well – happy, presumably, with beating Serena to stand as her crowning achievement at this event: not only did she not fail to compete, she actually dialled up the fire further still. Until, that is, her legs would carry her no more.

That takes “More balls than all the French men put together”, as someone said on twitter yesterday.

 

And for that, as always, she has my respect.




I don’t know if I quite buy into Sabine as the “deserving cause”, and I’m still not completely reconciled to her having knocked out my fave (*snarl*), but you have no soul if you’re not pleased at her return.

Can she keep it going? Probably. Will it be enough against Pova? I rather doubt it. Certainly not if Pova plays the way she did vs. Domi.

Perhaps sensing the electricity that Domi sometimes brings to bear (see Wozniacki), Pova squashed any pretensions to “competition” Domi might have had within the opening few games. Alas poor munchkin, she never had a chance.




Petra played her worst match of the tournament today. There’s a cost/benefit analysis you might choose to make whenever something like this happens.

On the one hand, she got through and will likely emerge more battle-hardened as a result, which should set her in good stead for the semis.

Trouble is, Petra’s never really fit that mould. She seems to thrive on quick wins based on strutting her very capable stuff. Today’s troublesome encounter is neither “empowering”, nor should it be seen as very much more than a minor irritant. She may very well go down to Vika, or (as I rather suspect) she may knock her out – either way today’s episode will have had little to do with it.

Roland Garros 2011: Women's Final Preview

by Mad Professah, contributing writer

Here are my predictions for the women's finals at Roland Garros for 2011. This year, I correctly predicted 3 of 4 women's quarterfinals and 1 of 2 women's semifinals. I also correctly predicted 1 of 2 men's semifinals and 2 of 3 men's quarterfinals this year.

Francesca Schiavone ITA (5) vs. Na Li CHN (6). This should be an excellent match. Last year, Schiavone stunned the world by playing the match of her life to win her first major title just weeks before her 30th birthday over heavily favored Samantha Stosur. Schiavone had never been past the quarterfinal of any major despite playing in 35. Since then, after losing in the first round at Wimbledon, she has been in two consecutive major quarterfinals and has not won a tour title since. That being said, she has returned to a second consecutive final appearance here in Paris, outlasting, outwitting and outplaying several hard-hitting players like Anastasia Pavlyunchenkova in the quarters and Marion Bartoli in the semis. Her opponent is Li Na, a hard-hitting player who dispatched 3-time major champion Maria Sharapova in the semifinals and Victoria Azarenka in the quarterfinals in straight sets by blasting winners into every corner of the court. Li is playing in her second major final of 2011, again becoming the first Chinese player (male or female) to play for a major title in Paris.

Head-to-head Schiavone and Li are tied at 2 wins apiece with the flashy Italian winning their one meeting on clay, at this tournament last year, relatively easily 6-4 6-2. However, 2011 is a completely different scenario for Schiavone than 2010. Last year, almost no one expected her to win so she faced almost no pressure, and was able to marshal all aspects of her all-court game and deploy all her crafty spins and slices to give the hard-hitting but mentally fragile Stosur fits. This year she is the defending champion, and she is expected to repeat her win here by many people. The more compelling storyline is owned by Li, who is aiming to be the first person from the most populous nation on earth to win a major title. As I said earlier, clay rewards excellent movement, and since both Schiavone and Li are excellent movers Schiavone's edge over most hard-hitters is muted. If Li can remain patient and not got frustrated by the variety of ball coming her way, she'll become a Grand Slam champion. PREDICTION: Li.

Roland Garros 2011: Women's Semifinals Preview

by Mad Professah, contributing writer

Here are my predictions for the women's semifinals at the 2011 French Open. Last year I was correct in 2 of 2 2010 French Open women's semifinal predictions.

Marion Bartoli FRA (11) vs. Francesca Schiavone ITA (5). The 2010 French Open defending champion made an astonishing escape to win her quarterfinal match with hard-hitting Anastasia Pavlyunchenkova. The Italian was down 1-6 1-4 but came back to lead 5-2 in the final set and gutted out the win 7-5 in the 3rd after the youngster stormed back to even the match at 5-all in the 3rd. Bartoli is in the semifinal of her country's major, a significant feat that 2-time major champion and former World #1 Amelie Mauresmo was unable to accomplish. Bartoli's dream is to play in and win the final in Roland Garros, but that will not be happening this year.

The Frenchwoman did well while Svetlana Kuznetsova committed one of her patented meltdowns to ruin my potential 100% accuracy rate in quarterfinal predictions.

Bartoli hits two-handed on both wings with impressive power and has increased her fitness level so that she can survive long rallies but her movement is suspect and Schiavone has the shot variety to expose the gaping weaknesses in Bartoli's unorthodox game.

The two have never met on clay, which is Schiavone's best surface, but the Italian still leads the career head-to-head 6-1, including a win on Bartoli's best surface, grass. Even though the two have not played each other in over two years I suspect even the new and improved Bartoli will be no match for the new and improved Schiavone who truly believes "nothing is impossible." PREDICTION: Schiavone in 2 sets.

Maria Sharapova RUS (7) vs. Na Li CHN (6). This should be an excellent match, with the winner most likely going on to win the title. Who would have thought the only woman on the tour to be in two major semifinals this year would be Li Na from China? Head-to-head Sharapova leads 5-2 but Li has won the last two times the two have played (which were both on the relatively slow grass of Birmingham in 2009 and 2010). The one time they played on clay was in Paris two years ago and Sharapova eked out a truly bizarre 6-4 0-6 6-4 victory. Sharapova is playing the clay as if it is a hard court, blasting serves and hitting groundstrokes even harder. She demolished Andrea Petkovic 6-0 6-3, a player who took her out in the year's first major tournament to reach this point. Li was able to dismiss heavy favorite World #4 Viktoria Azarenka 7-5 6-2 to reach her first major semifinal in Paris.

However, clay rewards great movement and there's no question Li is the superior mover between the two. Sharapova does hit the ball hard, but Li also has her own firepower, with one of the best backhands in the women's game. Sharapova, however, has 3 major titles and has been in 10 major semifinals. Li has been in one major semifinal, but it was this year--Sharapova's last major semifinal was 3 years ago in Australia when she won the entire tournament in 2008. Sharapova is on a clay court winning streak, having won the Rome title two weeks before Paris over 2010 Roland Garros finalist Samantha Stosur. If Sharapova serves well and is accurate off the ground she should win the match, but if Li is able to withstand the onslaught Sharapova's penchant for painting the lines will become a liability as those shots slowly turn into errors and Li will be in her second major final. The mental edge should favor Sharapova since she is undefeated against both Schiavone and Bartoli. For Sharapova, this match is the final, and she would desperately love to be in the panoply of great women players who have completed the career slam (like Navratilova, Evert, Graf, S.Williams, King and Court) . For Li, she makes history every time she steps on the court and may be satisfied by being the most successful Chinese player ever. PREDICTION: Sharapova in 2 sets OR Li in 3 sets.

Roland Garros: Last Frenchwoman standing

There’s only two women remaining in the draw who I’d tolerate (and only tolerate) Sveta losing to. And one of them beat her today.



I heard a lot on the lack of French support Gael got against Fed today – no such problem here. She might as well have been lifting the trophy itself. Which of course she still might.

Marion barely flinched. It was that good – almost as good as Wimby 2007, except of course that the court was a lot slower. The only way to compete when she’s hitting as cleanly as this is to try and get her off balance – but you can only do that if you are somehow able to stop her dictating, and you can only do that if you can get a shot in edgeways.

Sveta played well for the most part considering, but simply lacked focus in the second set, and struggled with what should have been routine putaways. Whether that’s because Marion wore her down or Sveta was simply being Sveta, is neither here nor there.

The better lady won. And no it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if she won the whole damn thing. She may even get a clothing sponsor. The only reason she wasn’t at the top of my list is I didn’t expect her to get this far.

Roland Garros 2011: Women's Quarterfinals Preview

by Mad Professah, contributing writer

Here are my predictions for the women's quarterfinals at Roland Garros this year. Last year, I was correct in 2 of 4 2010 French Open women's quarterfinal predictions.

Svetlana Kuznetsova RUS (13) vs. Marion Bartoli FRA (11). The 2007 Wimbledon finalist has reached her first quarterfinal at her country's major tournament for the first time. She will face Kuznetsova, one of only two women left in the tournament who have won the entire event (the other, of course is Francesca Schiavone who won last year). In fact, Kuznetsova lost the final in 2006 and won the final in 2009. While Bartoli won her match when Gisela Dulko retired in the second set, Kuznetsova won a hard-fought 3-set affair with Daniela Hantuchova who had easily dismissed World #1 and top-seeded Caroline Wozniacki the round before. This could be a very ugly affair, with both players trying to lose the match, I believe that Kutnetsova's prodigious talent will be the deciding factor. PREDICTION: Kuznetsova in 3 sets.

Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova RUS (14) vs. Francesca Schiavone ITA (5).  The 2010 French Open defending champion made it through to this quarterfinal by winning a marathon 2 hour, 40-minute battle with 3-time French Open semifinalist (and former World #1)  Jelena Jankovic which featured over 30 breakpoints combined. The passionate Italian faces the talented Russian youngster who took out the last remaining top seed in World #3 Vera Zvonareva to reach her first career major quarterfinal. Pavlyuchenkova hits the ball hard and flat on both wings, while Schiavone rarely hits the ball the same way twice, and actually wants to move forward to show off her sterling net play. Plus Schiavone has the benefit of knowing that her style of play can be rewarded on the red clay courts of Paris from last year.   PREDICTION: Schiavone in 2 sets.

Petra Kvitova CZE (9) Na Li CHN (6) vs. Victoria Azarenka BLR (4). The hard-hitting lefty Petra Kvitova was my call to win the entire tournament before it began. But, 2011 Australian Open finalist Li is also one of my favorite players. Kvitova was up 3-0 in the deciding set but then collapsed completely to lose 6 consecutive games and the match. Li continues to make history, becoming the first Chinese player, male or female, to reach the quarterfinals at the French Open. Azarenka is one of the hottest players on the women's tour, and despite never having won a quarterfinal at any major is the betting favorite to win the tournament, primarily due to her position as the top remaining seed in the draw at #4. Head-to-head Li actually leads Azarenka 3-1, including a straight set beating in the Round of 16 in Melbourne this year, but the two have never met on clay. Azarenka should use this opportunity to make her breakthrough at a major, but will the pressure of being the favorite get to her head? Li has the advantage of already making her breakthrough in a grand slam earlier this year. This match should be decided by who wants it more and should be a high quality affair. PREDICTION: Li in 3 sets.

Maria Sharapova RUS (7) vs. Andrea Petkovic GER (15). Could this really be Sharapova's year to win the French Open? If so, she needs to get through matches like this next one. In Petkovic she is playing a player who beat her in the previous major played this year and is unafraid of the 3-time major champion's firepower. Sharapova was able to get revenge a few months later in Miami and leads their career head-to-head 2-1, all played on hard courts. The two have never played on hard courts, but this match will be played on clay which us Sharapova's worst surface. Both players have won clay court titles this year. I have seen all of Sharapova's matches played at Roland Garros this year but none of Petkovic's. I suspect that the fact that Sharapova is in her 14th major quarterfinal (only her 2nd in the last two years) while Petkovic is in her second quarterfinal of her career despite the two being born in the same year will be the ultimate deciding factor. PREDICTION: Sharapova in 3 sets.

Car Wreck

Getty

::

Thank goodness for Marion Bartoli. She actually gave us a big event final to watch in the Californian desert two weeks ago tomorrow against the reigning World No. 1. I found myself wishing the Indian Wells runner up was on the court across the net from Victoria Azarenka in today's championship match in Miami. Instead, I chose to put up with Maria Sharapova spraying balls like a garden hose in a drought. I didn't have to, mind you. But the match had the lure of a car wreck. I simply couldn't look away.

The WTA has to (well, maybe it doesn't have to, but the hero campaign is banal and outdated) update its marketing campaigns for the remainder of 2011 against the backdrop of this fact: The runner up at the calendar's "fifth Slam" held her serve exactly once in a 6-1, 6-4 drubbing at the hands of a player who's never even contested a Slam semifinal, neither of whom participated in what might have been the most dramatic women's match of the tournament, which wasn't televised anywhere on the planet.

I'm going to say that again: The runner up at the calendar's "fifth Slam" held her serve exactly once in a 6-1, 6-4 drubbing at the hands of a player who's never even contested a Slam semifinal, neither of whom participated in what might have been the most dramatic women's match of the tournament, which wasn't televised anywhere on the planet.

That's all.

Miami: On Anarchy and Perspective

Murray routed in straights. He’s 0-9 sets since the final of Oz. 



 
This is no longer a slump. He’s practically comatose.

“He needs to snap out of it.”

“He needs a coach.”

”He needs to be slapped about the chops with a wet (Omega-3 rich) halibut.”

We get it.

Expect a slew of smug, utterly irritating, self-satisfied, vindictive screeds, some not even bothering to masquerade as “commentary”, on how he might never win a Slam. On how he’s toast. On how this would never happen to <insert fanboy fave>.

I’m not denying that it’s all oppressively bleak right now. It just seems to me we’ve seen worse, from bigger and better players than Murray.

For all we know he might even look back upon this one day as a necessary dip. I’ve seen it happen before.

A little perspective wouldn’t go amiss.

 

”Call me ‘Bogie’ one more time…”

Meanwhile GGL and Dasco’s departure  (in addition to Kolya and TooMuch yesterday) has effectively killed the top section of Nole’s draw and rendered his entire quarter positively plebeian.

Did I mention Stan went down to Granola in three?

Or that Boy Wonders, Harrison and Milos bit the dust (as did Grigor AND Berankis AND Sock)? Boy bands must suck in Miami.

And the crazies don’t end there.

Maka slew Kleybanova – actually that’s not crazy. [In fact I gotta ask: how many of these “upsets” will Maka have to pull for us to concede they might not be, ya know, upsets?]

Even both of Robin and Marion had to go three sets to secure their openers.

So when Dinara snagged a set from Bepa it somehow didn’t seem so anarchical amidst what was otherwise absolute anarchy.

Whatever. See if I care. 



JAMES BLAKE KNOCKED OUT THE 27TH SEED, PEOPLE.

James Blake: Who can barely put two matches together for as far back as I can now remember.

A little perspective, if you please.




I doubt it amounts to much seeing as he’s playing Nole next.

But God help you, if you can’t find it within yourself to celebrate (or at least look fondly upon) this.

Your soul’s depravity clearly knows no bounds.

And the angels will WEEP for you.

(Pics: Getty)

Indian Wells: “The Anti-Commentariat”

She’s consistent in a way Marion is not. And, more tellingly in the last set, she’s fit in a way Marion is not. As far as I’m concerned, that makes her the better player.

I think I might have already said this, but Caro’s retrieving skills are her “Killer App”. You don’t have to like that, but you sell yourself very short indeed when you pretend she has no business being at the top of the game because of it. Razzle-dazzle winners are a means, not an end. Her “means” are very different: deal with it.

I think I might have said this already too, but Caro will almost certainly win a Slam. Damn Straight. With Kim, perhaps, only around for a year and a half more (if that), playing a Willams-patented restricted schedule until then, and now nursing a shoulder injury, its all but inevitable.

Personally, I have no problem with that.



Can we agree I have given her her due?

Good, because it appears it’s physically impossible for the mainstream to extend the same treatment to her opponents – most notably those that don’t fit the “bombshell” agenda that has nothing whatsoever to do with tennis.

I don’t like personal attacks on anyone. And the Marion hate has been out of control for YEARS. Whilst I consider it equally retarded, it’s worth remembering that the hate Caro has had to endure is still only a fraction of that of Marion’s and most of that is restricted to her style of play – not her weight, her fitness or looks, as is the case with Marion.

Marion’s an aloof, idiosyncratic, ferocious talent with attitude she’s not about to apologise to anyone for. I must have missed the part where this makes her Cruella de’Vil or, indeed, where its not her right to behave exactly as she sees fit.

Whilst she hasn’t always made life easier for herself (particularly in her dealings with her compatriots) and whilst that might preclude her from ever being your cup of tea, some of the barbed invective hurled her way has no place in civil discourse (try and imagine Caro receiving the same treatment after a bust up with Karen Barbat or Malou Ejdesgaard, assuming either of them are ever ranked high enough to be seriously considered a “compatriot”).

And I know not everyone will agree with this, but some of this “anti-commentary” has sometimes (subconsciously or otherwise) spilled over to the mainstream.



When Marion was routed 6-1 in the first set, the commies began speaking longingly (almost wistfully) of their wish for a Caro/Kim final. Whatever other thoughts you might have on that sentiment, it’s highly disrespectful to any competitor there on their merits. If you were troubled about the quality thus far, far better to say you wished for A FINAL, whoever the competitors. Would we have heard the same if it was Pova, Dani or any other “bombshell” playing Caro? I rather doubt it.

As it happens, Marion played a dud of a 1st set. But you wouldn’t know this if the mainstream commentary was your only take on the match. For them it was supposedly “all about about Caro” which Marion “had no answer to”. There’s no doubt Caro played an impeccable first set. Truly flawless. I’d expect nothing less from the world #1. It’s also true she was contending with Marion’s ‘D’ game for almost all of it: 90% of Marion’s returns being sent unconvincingly down the middle, right into Caro’s hitting zone. Unsurprisingly, Caro lapped it all up.

When the tables turned in set two, the “anti-commentary” painted a picture of Caro having “lost intensity”, rather than conceding (even in part) the very different tactics Marion brought to bear. 2-6.




Set three really was “all about Caro” – Marion, put up a brave fight, but was simply done physically. A familiar problem; one wonders how much she can do to mitigate against it. 6-3.

And for that in particular, I grant that Caro was the better player out there (indeed the best player of the week): consistency together with that level of fitness (and mobility) seems to me to be a perfect fit against a tour whose majority is comprised of players finding it difficult to stay in a long rally, let alone possessing the fitness commensurate with playing so many of them over three sets.

I’m not going to pretend Marion isn’t one of my favourite WTA players , and I know better than to foist her on you as Caro is thrust upon us. It’s also true that Caro is not my favourite player but I also know better than to attack her personally for that.

The “Anti-Commentariat” is unable to extend the same levels of courtesy to players they don’t like (and mostly for reasons that have very little to do with tennis).

Even as I write this, there’s not a single picture of Marion in Yahoo’s tennis photostream: that would be your ladies runner-up of Indian Wells – an event some call the “fifth-Slam”.

 

Still think some players aren’t unfairly promoted/demoted above and below others?

(Pics: Getty)

Desert Champions

Getty

Novak Djokovic of Serbia poses with the trophy following his victory over Rafael Nadal of Spain 4-6, 6-3, 6-2 in the finals of the BNP Paribas Open in Indian Wells, California, on March 20, 2011. Djokovic is now 20-0 in 2011.


Getty

Caroline Wozniacki of Denmark poses with her trophy after defeating Marion Bartoli of France 6-1, 2-6, 6-3 in the final of the BNP Paribas Open in Indian Wells, California, on March 20, 2011. Wozniacki remains the computer's top-ranked player.

Indian Wells 2011 Finals Preview

It's the computer's World No. 1 Caroline Wozniacki against the unconventional No. 15 seed Marion Bartoli in the women's final. The Frenchwoman has kicked the Dane in her teeth before. And vice versa. You would expect the steady pusher to simply outlast the flat hitter who doesn't get around the court so well in straight sets with the loss of just a few games. But never underestimate a flat hitter on a hardcourt who takes the ball earlier than anyone on the tour. If Bartoli plays as well as she did to dismantle Yanina Wickmayer in the semifinals, she can win the title. Will she?

On the men's side, it's Nadjoke XXIV. The World No. 1 vs. the Undefeated One. The way Rafael Nadal turned around his semifinal against Juan Martin del Potro was nothing short of stunning. The way Novak Djokovic defended the court against Roger Federer was nothing short of riveting. Rafa has the head-to-head advantage, Djoke has the most confidence right now. The slow sometimes windy conditions work for both. Rafa's got the vicious topspin, Djoke's got the compact strokes. Will the World No. 1 show who's boss, or will the new World No. 2 remain without loss?

I may not get to watch either match live for I'm in Miami. More about that later.

Enjoy the finals.

Indian Wells: Black Swan & the Communist Manifesto

It’s no secret I’m more invested in the women's event this year: I make absolutely no apologies for this – the stories are simply more compelling.

And don’t worry – I’m not one of those uber-contrarians that define their world view in knee-jerk opposition to the tours elite and in slavish support of any and every nonsensical upset – like some anarchic tennis interpretation of the Communist Manifesto.

But I do think that, aside from Caro, the remaining players in the ladies draw provide the right blend of pedigree, talent and narrative to make it so much more than “just another week” of following the the tour’s elite playing top-tier tennis at top-tier events.

Without a doubt, Delpo kinda provides that on the men's side too (though you have to think that, in Rafa,  he’s now reached his natural limit at this stage of his comeback); and if Reeshie pulls off what we daren’t even conceive let alone mention, it would be a better story than just about everything else put together – I just think that’s about as likely as the creation of anti-matter.  (Update: Anti-matter, as suspected was not, and cannot be, created or destroyed – just like talent it seems)

To really grab your attention and run with it, a story needs to retain the bare essence of credibility. Which is what, I suggest, we have in spades in the women's draw.

Everyone knows what Bartolis capable of – one can only hope that losing here, if it happens, won’t have been because of the stomach flu that left her gasping for air against Ivanovic.

Had Peng survived Pova, she’d be aiming  to win her first tour title – you only need to have seen the measured, technically mature, and entirely professional way in which she held out to the very end, to understand why anyone gunning for that wouldn’t be partaking in some outlandish speculation. Far from it – a top 20 spot looks almost inevitable by the end of the year.

Where do you even begin with Pova?

It’s one thing to win a Slam (arguably beating history’s finest), bust your wrist and be forced to remain out of the game for a year; and entirely another to win three of them, spend almost half a decade at the top of the game (beating some of the best players EVER) and to then be locked out for the best part of two years from which you emerge able, only, to gingerly, cautiously feel your way back to bare-competence (an implicit sobering acceptance of how that “might never be” again, necessarily pervading the entire process).

Not simply bereft of your best weapon – once described (alongside Serena’s) as the best serve in the game – but in a particularly perverse poetry that might come straight out of ‘Black Swan’, to actually have it turn on you.  

All at the age of only 23.

Delpo fans have my full support – as does he –  but this is of an entirely different order of suffering, of self-awareness, of trajectory altogether.

Which is why I sat through her win over Peng, not just enthralled by the way she took hold of the match for a set and two games – something which, in any case, we already saw  against Safina – but by what came next.

With a win seemingly only a whisper away, Black Swan suddenly struck (she’d been lurking around striking lurid poses for while). Double fault quickly begat double fault, rapidly and perniciously smothering her drive, her movement, her confidence – her very soul you might say.

Anyone not moved by the way in which she gutsed her way through

that last set, drawing only on the innate reserves of mental strength she might only share with Rafa, has no business mingling in civilised society. Winning ugly doesn’t quite capture it  – it was almost more depraved than that.

Black Swan would have settled for nothing less.

So there you have it. Pova winning would almost represent a completion of a journey, a version of which Delpo will, in time, make in his own way. That time isn’t now – hastening it before its time might even prove counterproductive.

Bartoli battling stomach flu, back (quite impressively) from injury, capable of taking out anyone on her day, represents the alternative.

Even the obtrusive Wickmayer has, in some senses, earnt her stripes – whatever else you might think of her, her talent is undeniable.

Yep, I’m ALL ABOUT taking this #AnyoneButWoz thing to the nth degree.

(Pics: Getty)

Confessions

Savannah has the story on the recently-retired former world No. 1 who admitted she, well, cheated on the grandest stages of tennis.

Electric-Boogaloo

 

 

 

Let’s get the shirt out the way first coz I think that’s the “easy” part.

 

 

 

Funky, fluoro, eye-scarring fugliness I can deal with (remember this?). Early-80s scribbly, graffiti insignias (normally found on the side of subway trains) do at least have a certain fulsome, nostalgic fuzziness to recommend them.

 

 

 

Both at once? Didn’t think so either…not unless you’re auditioning for a part as an extra in a very poor remake of Electric Boogaloo (it was laughably rubbish the first time round).

 

Del Potro d. Lopez 67 76 76

 

The tennis was visceral, austere, overwrought, laugh-out-loud funny, severe-looking, perfectly nonsensical but also tantalisingly brilliant (at times).

 

It also went on for 3 hours and 20 mins.

 

The big take out must be that Delpo survived the encounter, as it seems, healthily and with his wrist (and his retinas) intact….had he lost it would have been no different.

 

 

It was a tactically-confounded performance that suggested the rustiness we all expected, but was also tinged with the traces of brilliance that once was.

 

I still don’t think he’ll be responsible for the mass culling of top seeds in the early rounds of the AO that some are geeing themselves up for.

 

Feli is not a top ten player – I’m not so sure he even qualifies as “2nd-tier” anymore. A top-tenner wouldn’t have given Delpo half as much room to breath, much less do his gangly-brawny thing. Ditto a less-talented stalwart like Daveed Ferrer.

 

All of which works out in Delpos favour of course – this is exactly the kind of testing, match-play he needs to fill up on ahead of Melbourne.

 

***

 

The other comeback isn’t going so well.

 

 

Bartoli d. Safina 60 61

 

After a perfectly commendable three set loss to Wickmayer in Auckland last week, Dinaroshka must have hoped to go at least one better – failing that a single competitive match would have been good.

 

She cannot have foreseen the two set lockout that Bartoli would impose upon her – evidently no one else did either.

 

Safina didn’t, by all accounts, play a “bad” match – that would only have been possible had she been allowed to play at all.

 

Here’s the thing: Marion does that that to people. And she often does it to the best of players.

 

But it’s when she does it to the best-loved players that the worst form of medieval contempt comes out.

 

 

I don’t get it.

 

From what I can tell she’s a ferociously talented, deliciously idiosyncratic player with oodles of attitude she’s not about to apologise to anyone for.

 

When she’s on, her strangely effective two-handed strokes are capable of smothering you with eye-wateringly acute-angled passes or simple, flat, uncompromising pace. All while remaining perma-rooted on the baseline.

 

She’s not a fashionista, she has an academic eccentric for a father, she’s not in the business of cloying, simpering lie-ins with the media, she can appear more aloof, stern and unfriendly on court than is perhaps necessary, and YES, she rubs (some) people up (though mostly her own compatriots) the wrong way.

 

BIG FREAKIN DEAL.

 

We’ve turned a blind eye to far worse, far more heinous, garlic-infused episodes of brattiness from so-called rising stars or media-luverlies, who all seem to get a free pass on account of their age, their standing in the game, or poster-girl looks.

 

Don’t pretend we haven’t been there.