Some weeks you get the Milk, Other weeks you get the Vodka

The end of the slump. The 2nd career title. A reminder of his relevance. A reminder of his foolishness. Vodka and Milk. Its all good. And it couldn’t have come too soon.

But it would be a mistake, I think, to expect him to repeat this type of form every week, or every other week, or even every other month. He just ain’t that guy.

Having a breakout week is one thing: he’s more than capable of taking down the biggest names in the game, he may even be capable of stringing together the requisite 7 matches it takes to win a Slam. Hold out for that if you must.

But he ain’t, and won’t likely ever be, about crafting a ranking – top ten or otherwise. That would involve invoking of the ‘C’ word. And, well, whatever else Ernests’ strengths are, CONSISTENCY certainly isn’t one of them. Some weeks you get the milk, but more often than not you get the vodka. You’d think those that liken him to Marat would already know that.

Another thing – as much as I liked this, I’m having difficulty with the necessity some seem to feel of having to “rehab” personalities like Ernests. To do so seems to me to spectacularly miss the point. You think he gives a hoot about what you or I think?

And what makes us think fans or haters will change their view of him even after such elaborate PR surgery?

Those that like talented, chaotic nutjobs given over to recklessness as a form of public service, will continue to appreciate his brand of anarchy, both his vodka and his milk, no matter what.

Those that don’t, will continue to reel in repugnance at the rich kid that can’t be a*sed to make good on his talent, his so-called “sense of entitlement”, no matter what.




If it were any other player beating Masha, Sabine and Marion consecutively, and in straight sets, winning her first title after a year-long outage, more than halving her ranking to #79 in the process, I’d probably take time to gape a little. As it’s Serena I’ll move along and make like there’s nothing to see here.

Still not convinced playing three out of the three events ahead of the USO is the best thing, however. There’s “getting serious” about events outside of Slams and there’s over-compensating.  Am I the only one that thinks that’s, like, a LOT of tennis? Not to mention it opens one up to the risk of injury.

Behold Ernie, ‘Creature of the Night’.

    
It’s the eyes – they’re all “in league with Lucifer”. Well that’s one way to get sh*t done.

Not gonna lie – a little scared right now.



Gulbis d. del Potro 6-2 6-4

When he broke his 5 match losing streak with a win over Malisse,  it was a mere curiosity.

When he followed it up it  with a straight sets win, it was a reminder that, whatever else you might think of him, he’s still relevant.

When he dusted off Delpo 2 and 4 last night, it became a “thing”. Oh yeah, I think we can call it that now.

By all accounts (after hours for me), it was a one-sided demolition with Ernie reminding us of why he is indeed a thing, why he’s always been a thing.

I doubt very much that Delpo would have underestimated the threat, but he cannot have expected this.

Here’s hoping this form carries over. Not to rain on anyone’s parade, but this ain’t a Slam (not even a Masters 1000) – Ernie hasn’t been beyond one of those in his last 7 attempts.

*That* particular streak needs to end too. And FAST. Else this ain’t a “thing”. Not even close.




Williams d. Sharapova 6-1 6-3

I know I was meant to have been all “IT’S ON” ever since it was clear these two would meet – I just couldn’t dismiss the possibility of precisely this kind of a letdown.

But I would have preferred it if Pova had simply been tuned – far better to have simply been able to say “too good” rather than imploding the way she has all too often recently.

As it happened, Pova was neither here nor there – she simply looked utterly terrified of Serena (so I’m told).

"I think I’ll need to win a couple of more matches before it becomes a true rivalry," said the fifth-ranked Sharapova, who is now 2-7 against Serena and who hasn’t beaten her since 2004. "It’s not really a rivalry until I win few more matches. She’s experienced enough to know that even if it’s a small or big event you have to go out there and do our job and still go out there and win it."

Not that Serena instilling fear in her opponents should surprise any of us. But it’s a little disappointing when that opponent happens to be one of the best competitors the sport has ever seen – perhaps the only player  left in the WTA with the requisite mental hardware to pose Serena a challenge.

Still, as with Ernie, this ain’t a Slam is it, so what does it matter? Right? Right?

“I decided it’s time to get serious not only at the Slams but every other tournament as well.”

-- Serena Williams

OH.

Sabine next. On paper, this spells all sorts of Boombastic. But then that’s what we said about the Wimbledon semis.

Obligatory Happy Domi pic.

No one else serenading the run she’s been on, so I will.

4th round or better at every Slam. QFs or better at three out of the four.

She plays Marion in the semis in a match custom built to test my loyalties to the nth degree.

Roland Garros: Cognitive D̶i̶s̶s̶o̶n̶a̶n̶c̶e̶ Flatulence

 

Marin out. In his opening match. On the first day of Roland Garros. In straights. To Ramirez Hidalgo.

The sad thing is, no one was even that surprised.

Then again no one made light of it either. Probably because its not funny anymore.




Apparently there was a stomach complaint of sorts.

In which case, I SERIOUSLY question the decision to play when you’re facing the possibility of a sixth consecutive first round Slam exit.

Despite my better judgement I still want to believe in you – mostly because I’m not that keen on the haters’ caricature of the spoilt, affluent slacker travelling from tournie to tournie in Daddy’s helicopter.

Articles like this, however, don’t help. Neither do 6 consecutive first round Slam exits.

Mission Come Forth

 

In the end, Sod needed only a single, decisive ace to seal a three set win over Ernie in a baseline slugfest that was anything but.

 

Ernie failed to convert more breakpoints than his fanbase were comfortable with – he also used his serve to dig himself out of trouble more times than I was comfortable with. Draw your own conclusions.

 

The good news for Sod fans is he was able to work his way into, and impress himself upon, a match that could easily have run away from him: Ernie rarely comes out with less than all 8 guns blazing and Sod hadn’t played since the final of Baastad three weeks ago. 

 

Mission “come-forth” also remains firmly on track.

 

The bad news is he’s on course to play Daveed  - who needed all of three sets to tough out Ferru in a match I couldn’t wait to see the back of.

 

Though I kinda wonder having picked up a title last week and been put through the mill in his opening match here, just how much Nalbie has left - and whether an earlyish exit might, somewhat counter-intuitively, work in his favour going into the USO.

Roland Garros: Not a Preview.

Here’s a thought: Don’t do a RG Preview.

Focus instead on this pic, mostly because Fed-i-ra seems to have a hint of mischief about him.

Like he’s about to do that very tired party gag where he feels around the cup for a while before pretending to have his hand chewed off by Jaws. That’s right, the one your Uncle Charlie would always think was so funny, and you’d feel obliged to laugh at.

I’m seated in my garden on one of those unbearably hot days that forces even the butterflies to scramble for cover and even that shrivelling turd the neighbour’s cat was nice enough to deposit on your lawn last night now seems to demand a better spot.

It’s a day for many things, but not, I’m afraid, for draw analysis.

………*drifts off to sleep*……….................

……………………………………………………………

..............................................................

……… “*#fa c*n #e #*#te* o# *l#y”………

……… “R#fa can be #e#ten o# cl#y”……….

Me: …

WP: I said - Rafa can be beaten on clay.

Me (coming round): Mmm?

WP: I’m trying to tell you something important.

[Seeing Warped Pete hovering over me]

Me: …oh it’s you again…have I snoozed off?

WP: ‘fraid so….I was about to tell you why I’ve never believed Rafa to be unbeatable on clay.

Me: Wow - that’s almost as good an ice breaker as "How d'ye do? Come and have a bathe." You know in….

WP: I know, I know Freddy Honeychurch in ‘A Room with a View’ – would you pay attention already – this is important.

Me: Well…[getting up from deck chair and rubbing face]…since the last time I was here some people I’d told about you made a list of questions they wanted me to put to you. [Splashes face with water] I was kinda hoping to ask you those….

WP: It’s RG tomorrow and I wanna talk about how beatable Rafa is - and not just by Soderling either….

Me: *staring sceptically* Look, I realise strange things happened last year….

WP: Stranger things have happened you might say?

Me: ….and I further realise, I should expect the unexpected in this other-worldly-dreamy-realm thingy you run here - contorted landscapes, melting clocks, that sort of thing…

WP: I’ve been here eons, and I’ve never seen a melting clock.

Me: The point is…we’re back to where we started - “full circle” as 2hander would say.

WP: two-hander?

Me: 2Hander..you know, that bloke on my blog.

WP: I know, I know…just [lowers voice] we’re not allowed to use numbers in names around here.

Me: ???

WP: We’re not allowed to mention any incidences of under arm serving at the French Open either. One of the peculiarities that comes of living on the edge of darkness…

Me: And yet, you can’t understand why I might expect to see melting clocks!?

WP: …

Me: Never mind. So, Rafa?

WP: Yeah look – he’s always been beatable. It’s just that up until last year, no one – not even he himself – dared bet against that ridiculous aura he’d created.

Me: That’s it? That’s all you have for me? I’m meant to return home with “that ridiculous aura”?

WP: It’s a little more complicated than that….

Me: I should hope so…

WP: When he’s in control of his game, with all the confidence and mastery that implies, what do you notice about his play?

Me: He grunts louder than normal?

WP: He hits those loopier-than-loopy, curvy-curvaceous shots so thickly spread with topspin, coming in at such a high trajectory, you’d be right in thinking it’s headed out.

Me: And yet it lands on your shoelaces, or on the baseline – I know the ones.

WP: Right – and when he’s hitting those sorts of balls shot after shot, it doesn’t matter that he’s stationed three feet behind the baseline….

Me: ….because he can muscle in behind his penetrating loopies…

WP: …and it doesn’t matter whether he’s standing on a clay, grass or hard court. We are on the same page!

Me: Not quite – as I recall Rafa kinda struggles on hard courts.

WP: It’s all about confidence.

Me: Isn’t everything?

WP: When he loses confidence….the balls begin to land shorter. It’s not all in his hands of course - a faster hard court gives more of an opportunity for a flat hitter to out muscle him – which in turn causes him to pitch shorter still…

Me: …and round and round she goes. And that advantage doesn’t exist on clay presumably?

WP: Well….not quite. You see, what happened last year shows us you can hit Rafa off a clay court by deep balling him. And in theory a Soderling, a Djokovic – the style of play you say is taking over the game on all surfaces – might do the same.

Me: Then?

WP: Now here’s where it gets interesting because they’ve not made the splash they did last year – at least not yet.

Me: Wait a sec – just coz it happened last year, doesn’t mean it will happen this year – or ever again.

WP: There’s more…

Me: Let’s hear it then.

WP: Rafa’s won three Masters events, but he’s only once had to face the type of opponent you might call his worst fear.

Me: That match against Ernie in Rome?

WP: Right. Flat and hard – just the way he dislikes ‘em.

Me: There were drop shots too. But he also played Federer, no?

WP: Not his worst fear, and a match you characterised as an erratic grumpfest.

Me: Still doesn’t mean…..

WP: There’s more…

Me:Stop saying 'Theres more' and finish the sentence.

WP: We have an altered state of play - an altered dynamic: a combo of what happened last year (which proved Rafa can be beaten) and coming in as something other than defending champion – an altogether different prospect from defending an event you’ve never lost.

Me: And we are to believe that creates all sorts of Freudian unease within him?

WP: Maybe not, but it’s something he’s not had to face since 2005.

Me: Mmmm…..not convinced that a guy that’s just broken the record for most Masters Titles won is “vulnerable” in any sense – not on his favourite surface.

But go on.

WP: Ok here’s where it gets really interesting, because the guys that should be poised to take advantage of this -- the Djokos, the Big Robs, the Federers even -- have been all at sea. But you also have the traditional clay courters. The one’s you wrote off….

Me: When did I do that?

WP: You said – and I quote – “clay courters are still relevant though perhaps not in the clay court season – or anywhere else”.

Me: I said that?

WP: You won’t always remember everything you’ve said or done in the real world here – just like my not knowing everything you think I should know – like melted clocks?

Me: Melting clocks. You mean to tell me you’ve never heard of Dali?

WP: I’ve heard of Dali – I live the reality, or surreality he claims to know so much about – and let me tell you, melting clocks form no part of it.

Me: Can we get back to those clay courters I wrote off?

WP: Before you interrupted me with melted clocks?

Me: Before I interrupted you with melting clocks…

WP: Yes we can - it’s all to do with this idea that they’re dated and are being rapidly usurped by a newer breed of aggressive baseliners – guys like Fed-i-ra, Djoko, Sod, Delpo, Jo-Willy and the like – guys that are, incidentally, effective on every surface playing roughly the same way.

Me: Yeah I remember saying that…

WP: *stunned*...No I just said that.

Me: Yeah but you were quoting me….

WP: Was I? I must be losing track of time – lemmee just check my watch – oh sorry, it’s just melted…

Me: You know you don’t actually have to stage a trick like that to be snarky right? I am mighty impressed though. Impressed you went through all the trouble of melting a metaphysical watch.

WP: You were getting on my nerves…..

Me: Won’t do it again.

WP: Ok so these clay courters have actually had a pretty good season so far – especially Dasco and Ferru. So we have this paradox where the guys that weren’t expected to do well have a pretty good shot of making at least the quarters, though still no chance of bringing it against Rafa.

Me: ….and the guys that were expected to change the nature of clay court tennis – l’aggressives shall we call them – Sod, Djoko et al. – all falling by the wayside. The paradox being that they are at least more equipped to attempt to stage a coup against Rafa, should they get that far – which I rather suspect they won’t.

WP: All of which leaves us with an opening for a breakthrough. An opening which won’t be filled by a clay courter – no, and here’s where I begin to sound prophetic, he will rise from amongst L’Aggressives. And right now only Ernie seems to fit the bill.

Me: That is if you’re discounting the most probable outcome of Rafa winning without dropping a set?

WP: Or the second most likely outcome of Fed-i-ra coming through? Yes, thank you for reminding me – that’s exactly what I was doing – discounting the most likeliest of outcomes. This is the land of Never-Never after all – we get paid by the minute to think right out of the box. That is if the box hasn’t already been melted.

Me: Melting.

(Photo: Getty)

Rome, Stuttgart Round Up…

Apologies for the lack of coverage. There’s a phrase you thought you’d never hear.

The apology is as much to myself as anyone else seeing as how Rome is meant to be my favourite clay court event.

Plenty of happenings this week, both of the Romanic and Germanic variety - no time to luxuriate in any one of them I’m afraid. Well maybe just this one.

Oh yes, we could indulge in a spot of trophy-biting again, but I much prefer Rafa doing his prancing leprechaun thing – don’t you?

Comeback complete….I should say.

With not a damn pachyderm in sight.

I’m sure there was a spanking great final played in Rome today, and congrats to Ferru for making his first Masters final and all that – I just didn’t happen to see very much of it.

As far as I’m concerned the real final took place on this very same arena 24 hours ago.

Up until that point Rafa’s dirt-ridden comeback, however dominant, remained possessed of a certain liminality – one that would seemingly only be removed by his taking down a shotmaker in cold blood.

Mission accomplished, though Ernie ensured there was nothing cold about it.

That’s the sound of pedantic analysis being swept away by a deluge of unbridled optimism.

-- Over in in Stuttgart, Juju picked up her first title of Career 2.0. with a 6-4 2-6 6-1 win over Sam Stosur, who, incidentally, will be world #8 on Monday.

Trouble is it wasn’t terribly convincing. One wonders what the result would have, could have been, had Stosur retained the focus that saw her reach a ten-match clay court streak. Similar levels of shoddiness pervaded JuJu’s route through the entire draw – with forehand-vulgaris putting in the odd, unwelcome appearance.

Difficult to complain very much when someone subdues a field comprised of seven of the world’s top ten players, without playing their best tennis.

One only wonders if such sloppier performances are to be a more regular feature of her second coming.

And whether shaping her entire comeback tour around Wimby, perhaps at the expense of her signature surface, is in fact the best approach.

Allez…I think.

-- At start of the week I confess I rather dissed Ernests Gulbis as “a haircut and a forehand” (after checking with Lendl of course).

Now I’m thinking “a haircut, a forehand and a drop shot too”, and a lot more besides - I’m also positively Samsonesque in my insistence he not clip those locks of his.

Monte Schmonte. Right here’s where the clay court season began. And when one of our most vaunted debutantes elected to announce himself.

***

And now a moments reflection for those no longer with us – or, to be more precise, those running a little thin on presence lately.

1) Biggest of big fish first.

Federer going out early at a Masters event no longer surprises anyone. I’ve long since given up trying to make sense of it. Think of it as the new world order.

Don’t have much time for the weary assumption that he doesn’t accord Masters events the same degree of respect and/or attention (Slams are ostensibly bigger fish, but how precisely does one go about marking down their levels of commitment by the commensurate 1000 ATP points?).

Easier to believe the less forgiving three set format and increased competition of the second half of his reign has something to do with it.

2) Oh Muzza….you almost had me convinced.

For one match only he played the kind of tennis that might have left you thinking, “Crisis? What Crisis?”.

Then of course he ran into Daveed Ferrer, and it was all revealed as a sham.

Not out of the thick of it just yet then, and clay will likely never host his best results, but perhaps some evidence that the Muzzanomic downturn might be shorter lived than initially anticipated.

3) Djoko shouldn’t actually be part of this list, seeing as how I thought he gave a great account of himself – his loss to Dasco certainly bore little resemblance to the haemorrhaging at Monte, and were it not for Ernie and Nadal the very next day, would have been the match of the event.

4) Dinara’s resurfaced. It didn’t last very long. Don’t call her Dina (Dinarik, or Dinarochka’s ok).

(Photos: Getty, Reuters, AFP)

Indian Wells: Mens Preview

I might do a WTA-lite version of this.

Then again I might not.

1st Quarter

Contenders: Federer, Roddick, Baggy, Le-Sliderman

Party Poopers: Tipsy downs A-Rod, Baggy downs Fed; both in R3

Match that needs to happen: La-Monf v A-Rod R4

Good things need to happen to: David Nalbandian. A belated, injury blighted but nonetheless Davis Cup empowered return for him.

(Photo: AP)

TALKING POINTS:

1) Is the guy we’ve seen practising at IW really Roger Federer?

I’m not so sure. I’m never that confident in the abilities of the imposter that sometimes shows up after an extended injury lay off, and those eyes seem a little too relaxed to me.

With Bodo adding to the confusion over his presence at this event last week, I’m waiting to be proved wrong.

2) French-Cypriot Empowerment.

Liking the look of both Baggy and La Monf at the moment. For Baggy it seems like his first injury-free spell in around three years (Yeah). Good things tend to happen when he’s moving and striking the ball this freely.

La Monf gave one of the best performances I’ve seen from him in the last twelve months in his Davis Cup Tie against Kohlschreiber last weekend. As always, I’m pretending it didn’t happen, and expecting nothing.

3) Where the heck has Andy Roddick been?

And, more to the point, what does he intend to do about it? I know that Wimbledon final sapped almost all his life force from him, but it’s been too long. Just saying.

2nd Quarter

Contenders: Muzzard, Soderling, Tsonga, Ferrer, Karlovic

Party Poopers: Ivo downs Muzzard R4, Feli downs Sod R3

Match that needs to happen: Igor ‘The Forehand’ v Muzzard in R3

Good things need to happen to: James Blake. There’s life beyond thirty, as Fererro will be all too happy to tell you about, should you be inclined to sign up to his life coaching sessions held funnily enough at Hotel Fererro.

TALKING POINTS:

1) Can Muzzard get through IW without offending another tournament organiser and can he divorce himself from the bloody coup seemingly underway back home?

There was talk this week of him being pressured to take part in that relegation play-off against Turkey. Cannae see it happening – though it wouldn’t hurt his image in the least.

If he keeps himself focused on the happenings on court (and keeps both feet well out his mouth), there’s no reason to suppose this can’t be a good event for him

2) Would it be too much to ask for Jo-Willy to sustain the momentum from that energising Davis Cup Tie?

As observed, both La Monf and Tsonga were splendifique last week.

I’m banking on it having had an ennobling effect on their tennis.

Energy cannot be created or destroyed and momentum really ought to be conserved. Except Jo-Willy seems willing and able to break any and all of the laws of physics.

3rd Quarter

Contenders: Rafa, Davy (still playing?), Isner, Querrey, Verdasco

Party Poopers: Isner/Querrey down Nadal R3/R4, Troicki downs Davydenko R3

Match that needs to happen: Davy v. Dasco R4 (if only to erase that horror of a match they contested in Oz)

Good things need to happen to: Mario Ancic – a piano not dropping on him doesn’t count.

TALKING POINTS:

1) How will Rafa’s knee hold up?

We don’t know of course. And the random nature of his withdrawal in Oz means that were he to emerge unscathed from a characteristically heavyweight performance here, we still wouldn’t know.

2) What now Ernie?

Even if he were to turn up, which I’m not yet certain of, Davy’s likely to be quite vulnerable. And I’m not that convinced with Dasco on the best of days.

All of which makes it a compelling opportunity for Ernie to make his mark, and back up that recent win in Delray Beach.

3) Time for a credible American #2 me thinks.

By which I mean someone other than Tommy Haas.

With Rafa and Davy likely to be far from their best, I can’t think of a better occasion for Querrey and Isner to make some noise.

4th Quarter

Contenders: Cilic, Djoko, Ferrero, Simon, Kohlschreiber

Party Poopers: Monaco downs Ferrero R3

Matches that need to happen: Cilic v Ferrero R4 and any match involving Kohlschreiber and a top tenner.

Good things need to happen to: Carlos Moya. Just coz I don’t expect to see this member of the thirty something club around for much longer. Another possible disciple for Life Guru Ferrero

(Photo: AP)

TALKING POINTS:

1) Will Djoko evade burnout?

Dubai followed by a heroic Davic Cup outing. A fantastic run, except I’d hate to see him run out of gas where it matters most.

2) Can Cilic make an impression without playing insane amounts of tennis?

Of course every Masters event from here on in will be earmarked for Cilic to make his mark. Whether you think of him as “the next del Potro” or not.

I mean why would that not happen?

Gulbis Wins First Title

AP

Ivo Karlovic observed his 31st birthday yesterday, but he didn't have much to celebrate. Ernests Gulbis, all potential and inconsistency, brought out his best tennis and slayed the giant 6-2, 6-3 to win his first ATP title on his first try at the Delray Beach International Tennis Championships.

It wasn't as close as the score.

All week, Gulbis' talent was on full display. In the final, he frustrated the Croat with return winners off first serves, unreturnable bombs of his own, cannonball passing shots, and drop shots out of nowhere. Dr. Ivo faced such of barrage, he was found slicing his backhand into the court right in front of his feet more times than he cared to count.

Ever since he tore Tommy Robredo a new one at the 2007 US Open in a performance that earned him a Gonad and a whole lot of expectant fans, the inconsistent and temperamental Latvian has been on a mission of mediocrity. He had trouble winning two matches in a row for much of last year, but he comes out this week and takes his first title without dropping a set. The first man from Latvia to win an ATP title.

“Everything what I do now is first time for my country,” he said after the match. “Of course it’s great. I hope it’s positive. I hope much more players will start to practise in Latvia. It’s good for tennis in Latvia. They see that a guy from Latvia also can make it and win an ATP World Tour event.”

Maybe it's the new Afro, but Gulbis looks as though he may be ready for his close up.

Let's see what he brings to Indian Wells.

Flushing Meadows: Swings, Roundabouts and See-Saws too

Safina d. Rogowska 6-7, 6-2, 6-4

I'd like to say that Safina's dismal first round showing is the early round wobble the top seeds sometimes suffer as they try and acclimatise to Slam conditions.

Unfortunately that's not what I think we are seeing. She's been in turmoil ever since she lost that final in Cincy to Jankovic two weeks back.

To be fair to her, her young Aussie opponent really did play out of her skin, but her game is now bordering crisis mode, and though I sometimes like to see her grit her way through, I could do without the see saw encounters I expect in the next few rounds.

A see-saw I wouldn't be that surprised to see her fall off before week two.

Yes, as early as that.

Sharapova d. Pironkova 6-3, 6-0

Shaza's one way smackdown of Pironkova yesterday was as much about the great disparity in the standards of their serves as it was down to any difference in class.

Andy Murray could do far worse than watch replays of that second set as a source of motivation to improve his Pironkova-like second serve. Shaza dealt with it like I sometimes deal with stray spiders on my ceiling.

(EMMANUEL DUNAND/AFP/Getty Images)

The good news is that Shaza's serve is beginning to look more dangerous and leaking less double faults. It's still not, and may never be the wonder of the world it was three years back.

But a side profile in a slow-mo replay yesterday showed that it's a robust, sound and repeatable action - not the atrocity some would have you believe. If there's any remaining rust, it's solely down to match practice, not to any fundamental mechanical flaw you might ascribe to -- oh I dunno -- Dinara Safina?

Djokovic d. Ljubicic 6-3, 6-1, 6-3

So much is always made of the coach they used to share three or so years back. And how that shared relationship might play mental gymnastics with both their thought processes during the match.

It didn't yesterday, and I daresay never has, especially considering Djoko's ascent more or less followed (by nearly a year) Ivan's decline.

Murray d. Gulbis 7-5, 6-3, 7-5

After a very promising first set in which Gulbis showed us once again why he's so many people's pick for the top ten, this match descended into an exhibition of Murray more or less watching and waiting for Gulbis to leak errors which he did. Which he tends to do an awful lot of.

(Photo by Julian Finney/Getty Images)

Murray was as passive as ever, especially during set two, but I don't honestly believe he'd be better served by playing Gulbis in any other way - not unless Ernie plays an absolute corker from beginning to end, which I only ever saw him do once in RG.

It's the reason I think Ernie has only ever managed to take a single set off of Andy in three meetings.

Jankovic d. Vinci 6-2, 6-3

I didn't see much of this but JJ looked to be in control, just the way the scoreline suggests. Though it must have helped that Vinci didn't seem to display the Rogowska-like resistance Safina had to contend with.

K. Bondarenko d. Ivanovic 2-6, 6-3, 7-6

I only caught the last few moments of this and Ana's forehand looked horrible.

That probably serves as a good indication of the way this match went, and of where her tennis is right now, for her forehand once used to be my favourite in the womens game.

(Photo by Julian Finney/Getty Images)

Going down in the first round of a Slam also marks her official installation into the tier-two of womens tennis. I can't find anything more hopeful or understanding to say right now so I won't.

Call that a TV schedule? Combined Edition

I really like that Sharapova came through her match against Petrova with such ease, but I'm not sure there's that much to be read into the result.

I didn't see the match (much like the rest of the week, though the quarters and the finals have been deemed fit to broadcast for some reason), but have seen Nadia check out of matches like that in the past. A trait that remains unchanged in spite of her top ten position.

What I'm saying is that, for it to have been so easy, I'd guess it happened again. And if I were to go with what I've read, it seems I'm right.

Not that any of this should matter to Shaza of course, who should be looking to string a set of wins together -- preferably strong ones like this -- in an effort at building up those depleted levels of confidence ahead of the US Open.

She'll play the winner of Venus and Kudryavtseva next.

"Its always great to come back and play someone who's at the top of the game and playing pretty well. I always relish playing the top players," she said. "I'd love to play against her."

(BBC)

Not sure what form Venus is in, but if she is anywhere near the top of her game, it should be a good matchup - I always enjoy these two teeing off against each other. It's visceral, feral tennis at it's best. Not very pretty, but full of the right kind of drama.

"No, not the slice Elena, not even the drop shot, but never the slice..."
(Photo: AP)

Dementieva took out Kirilenko just as easily. I quoted her a couple of days back as saying she was unaffected by that semi final loss to Serena at Wimbledon. Which I think is rather impressive; it would have been so easy to relapse into that slump she'd been in earlier on this year. Also bodes well for her ahead of the Open.

Customary racquet throwing pic - is he deliberately trying to sport that nostalgic clean-shaven US Open 2000 look?
(Photo by Stephen Dunn/Getty Images)

In LA, Ernie went down in three sets to Safin, in a match that despite the 26 63 64 scoreline, was actually quite close. Yes feel free to double take. Not often you see or hear of Marat getting through many of those. But playing so much (don't forget that exho with Pete) has caused him to snap out of that dreamy state he was in earlier on this week, and his recent pressers sound more grumpy. Guy's nearing the end of his career and it seems he can't wait to reach the finish line.

"You're ok kid, you'll do alright" Or something like that...

(Photo by Stephen Dunn/Getty Images)

Not that I blame him, of course. With the amount of excess energy he's consumed in those mental outpourings over the years, I should say he's spent. Not unlike Pete Sampras was, in that regard.

As far as young Ernie goes, it's not this loss, I'm just not ready to buy into him as a concept. Not just yet. At his peak I'd put him right up there with the del Potro's and Roddicks of this world; but Ernie's not the first and will definitely not be the last young player that failed to capitalise on his talent.

Looking at his stats, his only result of note is that QF at RG last year. Apart from that nothing. Not at the 1000 level, not below it. Not a single ATP title in fact. Isn't it time he picked up one of those unintrusive clay court titles in Europe? The ones I bitched about a week or so ago, because of their particularly suspect calendar positioning.

It might be better to start with something as small as that. Something that doesn't cramp the style of the big boys, but puts you on the map. He really needs to get that monkey off his back before it burgeons in to a snorting gorilla.

I'd go as far as to say he should have played something like Gstaad instead of LA this week.

Call that a TV schedule? LA Edition

What's with LA?

No seriously.

For one thing, it's the most charisma-laden tier-two field of psychotic ne'er-do-wells I've seen in a while.

And before your eyes have had a chance to adjust to the luminescence of the awesomeness, they've started winning matches.

Safin, Gulbis, and Baghdatis have all posted impressive wins in the past 48 hours and I'm sure Haas will follow suit as he takes to court opposite wildcard homeboy Jesse Levine.

Noteworthy I think, as the guys they took out (Robby Ginepri, Lu Yen-Hsun and Frank Dancevic respectively) weren't the usual breed of also-rans, you make special time and take special care to ignore.

"Robby is playing really well," the mercurial Russian said. "He is a tough player and it was a well-played match from both of us. I was able to go up a break at the beginning of the second set and that helped me to turn the match around."

(Yahoo! Sports)

Robby, in case you didn't know it, won Indianapolis last week. That may or may not have had a bearing. But in any case, such well-constructed, genteel, debonair analysis from Mr Mercury is a bit like witnessing a rainstorm of frogs and fishes. Just as rare, and maybe a little freakier.

"Now what sort of a Safin post would this be without a pic of him losing his racquet?"
(Photo by Stephen Dunn/Getty Images)

Something in the air?

He might still be on a wave of feel-good comeliness after that reenactment of the 2000 US Open final with Sampras, the organisers thought they'd put on to tickle our senses. Safin came out on top in that one too. Frilly nonsense, but also a lot of fun.

"Pete took the loss with good humour, and took a moment to auction off some of those '14' shirts"

(Photo: AFP)

But what about Ernie's win over Lu? Remember Lu at the Olympics last year? One of only a few players able to hand Andy Murray a straight sets loss during a period that saw Murray rampaging through top ten players like they were ranked outside of the top fifty.

Is Ernie's win also frilly nonsense, or a much anticipated start of something bigger and better? Dude's got a horde of fans worldwide relying on him, locked in a collective global seance aimed at jumpstarting his rise to the top. Don't disappoint'em Ernie.

And what of Baggy's win over Dancevic?

(Photo: Stephen Dunn/Getty Images)

'Baggy' as in Marcos' nickname; not Franks shorts.

That 'look' might have been at the root of Frank's problems. That's dire, that is. That's what comes of an unrestrained love affair with oversized shorts. Which are to gangly legs, what garlic-infused-belches are to witty conversation.

Not to mention the camera angle makes it looks a little like what's left, when Bjorn Borg throws up over Nadia Petrova's wardrobe.

But Dancevic is no slouch (as we all know); in fact, when he's not pratting about in skirts, I'd say he's rather talented. I had him earmarked for much success after first seeing him play in 2007. That it hasn't happened, in no way detracts from the importance of Baggy's win.

The last time I remember watching Marcos, he was being stretchered off court at the Ordina Open in Holland, his face contorted in pain. He's dropped to #146 in the rankings which is simply not on, whether you're a fan of his or not.

But more to the point Marcos, like Ernie and Marat, is that rare blend of charm and organically certified talent. With the US Open Series still in it's early stages, there's rich pickings to be had, and a chance to build up some confidence and much needed ranking points. It's "nice work if you can get it" - and with their gifts, I'd say they should almost certainly try.

Marat takes on Ernie next.

Families around the world have been issued with desensitising goggles, and have been advised to relocate their teenage daughters into one of many specially built bunkers resistant to the awesomeness radiating from LA. Worries persist however, that many may not make it in time and risk not surviving the climactic charisma overload.