Indian Wells: “The Anti-Commentariat”

She’s consistent in a way Marion is not. And, more tellingly in the last set, she’s fit in a way Marion is not. As far as I’m concerned, that makes her the better player.

I think I might have already said this, but Caro’s retrieving skills are her “Killer App”. You don’t have to like that, but you sell yourself very short indeed when you pretend she has no business being at the top of the game because of it. Razzle-dazzle winners are a means, not an end. Her “means” are very different: deal with it.

I think I might have said this already too, but Caro will almost certainly win a Slam. Damn Straight. With Kim, perhaps, only around for a year and a half more (if that), playing a Willams-patented restricted schedule until then, and now nursing a shoulder injury, its all but inevitable.

Personally, I have no problem with that.



Can we agree I have given her her due?

Good, because it appears it’s physically impossible for the mainstream to extend the same treatment to her opponents – most notably those that don’t fit the “bombshell” agenda that has nothing whatsoever to do with tennis.

I don’t like personal attacks on anyone. And the Marion hate has been out of control for YEARS. Whilst I consider it equally retarded, it’s worth remembering that the hate Caro has had to endure is still only a fraction of that of Marion’s and most of that is restricted to her style of play – not her weight, her fitness or looks, as is the case with Marion.

Marion’s an aloof, idiosyncratic, ferocious talent with attitude she’s not about to apologise to anyone for. I must have missed the part where this makes her Cruella de’Vil or, indeed, where its not her right to behave exactly as she sees fit.

Whilst she hasn’t always made life easier for herself (particularly in her dealings with her compatriots) and whilst that might preclude her from ever being your cup of tea, some of the barbed invective hurled her way has no place in civil discourse (try and imagine Caro receiving the same treatment after a bust up with Karen Barbat or Malou Ejdesgaard, assuming either of them are ever ranked high enough to be seriously considered a “compatriot”).

And I know not everyone will agree with this, but some of this “anti-commentary” has sometimes (subconsciously or otherwise) spilled over to the mainstream.



When Marion was routed 6-1 in the first set, the commies began speaking longingly (almost wistfully) of their wish for a Caro/Kim final. Whatever other thoughts you might have on that sentiment, it’s highly disrespectful to any competitor there on their merits. If you were troubled about the quality thus far, far better to say you wished for A FINAL, whoever the competitors. Would we have heard the same if it was Pova, Dani or any other “bombshell” playing Caro? I rather doubt it.

As it happens, Marion played a dud of a 1st set. But you wouldn’t know this if the mainstream commentary was your only take on the match. For them it was supposedly “all about about Caro” which Marion “had no answer to”. There’s no doubt Caro played an impeccable first set. Truly flawless. I’d expect nothing less from the world #1. It’s also true she was contending with Marion’s ‘D’ game for almost all of it: 90% of Marion’s returns being sent unconvincingly down the middle, right into Caro’s hitting zone. Unsurprisingly, Caro lapped it all up.

When the tables turned in set two, the “anti-commentary” painted a picture of Caro having “lost intensity”, rather than conceding (even in part) the very different tactics Marion brought to bear. 2-6.




Set three really was “all about Caro” – Marion, put up a brave fight, but was simply done physically. A familiar problem; one wonders how much she can do to mitigate against it. 6-3.

And for that in particular, I grant that Caro was the better player out there (indeed the best player of the week): consistency together with that level of fitness (and mobility) seems to me to be a perfect fit against a tour whose majority is comprised of players finding it difficult to stay in a long rally, let alone possessing the fitness commensurate with playing so many of them over three sets.

I’m not going to pretend Marion isn’t one of my favourite WTA players , and I know better than to foist her on you as Caro is thrust upon us. It’s also true that Caro is not my favourite player but I also know better than to attack her personally for that.

The “Anti-Commentariat” is unable to extend the same levels of courtesy to players they don’t like (and mostly for reasons that have very little to do with tennis).

Even as I write this, there’s not a single picture of Marion in Yahoo’s tennis photostream: that would be your ladies runner-up of Indian Wells – an event some call the “fifth-Slam”.

 

Still think some players aren’t unfairly promoted/demoted above and below others?

(Pics: Getty)

Indian Wells: “This too, will pass”

I don’t think you can ignore just how AWOL Rafa went in set three (he only served in the 30th percentile in set two), and taken in isolation, Noles’s  performance didn’t come close to convincing me of that “best player in the world right now” tag being bandied about.

Here’s something else you can’t ignore: Nole is now 20/20 matches, a streak dating back to DC last year (17/17 for 2011), 3 for 3 titles won this year, the new world #2 and had back to back wins over Fedal this week.

Taken in its totality, you might even argue that “best player in the world right now” tag doesn’t go far enough.

All good things must come to an end and this will too. The big question of course is what will remain in its place. Not the languid, burnt out shell Nole was during his first post-Oz downturn (brought about incidentally by Safin in Wimby 2008), one hopes?

Experience, maturity and common sense would suggest not.



Not a good look.

I can only put it down to the most freakish of freak incidents. As nightmarish an anomaly as you might ever see. The contrast between the first and third sets was as stark as it was bleak. I can’t, in all honesty, say I’ve ever seen anything like it – not after such  an such an emphatic opening statement.

Still, we’d do well not to treat it as anything other than an anomaly.

(Pics: Getty)

Indian Wells: Noticeboard

 

Q1	Q2	Q3	Q4
Rafa	Delpo	Djoko	Fed

Q1	Q2	Q3	Q4
Woz	Pova	Wick	Bartoli

LEGEND
Top Guns

Young'n Restless
HotStuff
Sympathy Vote

Marion and Caro met less than a month ago in Doha where Caro served her up a double breadstick. It was exactly the kind of oblique dysfunction Marion in particular, with her intransigent tennis philosophy, is prone to.

Walter’s idiosyncratic methods (swinging a lead pipe - no really) have sometimes sparked derision. I mostly applaud it. Marion was never destined to be a great mover – there’s nothing unsound about making the most of the hand you have been dealt with – especially when you fashion it into something as potent as what it’s become. I doubt such exacting standards of timing and pace would  exist in Marion without recourse to precisely such a meticulous, academic (if slightly kooky) approach.

The question, of course is, whether it stands up well to the Woz defence – arguably the most formidable of its kind out there today (yes we must give her that at least). On the evidence of this week, at least, that seems achievable. The problem is Marion’s game, like any hawkish belligerent’s, doesn’t lend itself to downturns of any kind.

If that happens, we’ll get another straight sets dismissal for which, I suspect, Caro will be just as unfairly serenaded as she will be baited.

(Pics: Getty)

Indian Wells: “Oranges are not the only Fruit”

 

Not gonna lie to you: I was rooting for Fed to win yesterday. Mainly because of his utterly pants IW/Miami record. I thought it time he put that behind him.

“Alas” indeed, though I think it only reasonable to point out that this has been by far his best IW in over 4 years, when Canas exposed (quite publicly) for the first time, the type of doubt and frustration that has characterised almost every poor performance of his since then.

That’s not to say Nole isn’t wholly deserving of the win or, indeed,  the #2 ranking. In principle, I actually prefer Rafole finals over Fedal ones. In principle.

That’s mostly been down to Madrid 2009 when the two pulled off the best (and longest) three setter ever played. Trouble is, we’ve not had anything even remotely comparable ever since.

It’s been the same story with Fedal finals with nothing really living up to Wimby 2008 or (my personal favourite) Rome 2006.

Maybe we’ll never see anything like that ever again – maybe Rafa and Nole’s conditioned maturity and Fed’s twilight make that all but impossible.

What I suspect we’re all after is simply a good match, which doesn’t necessarily depend on both playing 100% all of the time, or on particular styles of play.

My own view is that the role of “matchups” (Fed v Rafa or Rafa v Nole) doesn’t contribute nearly as much into bringing that about as self-satisfied (and utterly irritating) fans of either camp would like us to believe it does.

Entirely natural to prefer one over the other. So take your pick, but don’t foist it on others who share equally valid preferences for the other, or both, OR NEITHER.

It’s entirely possible for Fed and Rafa to give us one last preternatural blast before Fed calls it quits, just as it is that Rafa and Nole put on a show that makes our ears bleed later today.

Apples and Oranges. And “Oranges are not the only Fruit”.

Indian Wells: Black Swan & the Communist Manifesto

It’s no secret I’m more invested in the women's event this year: I make absolutely no apologies for this – the stories are simply more compelling.

And don’t worry – I’m not one of those uber-contrarians that define their world view in knee-jerk opposition to the tours elite and in slavish support of any and every nonsensical upset – like some anarchic tennis interpretation of the Communist Manifesto.

But I do think that, aside from Caro, the remaining players in the ladies draw provide the right blend of pedigree, talent and narrative to make it so much more than “just another week” of following the the tour’s elite playing top-tier tennis at top-tier events.

Without a doubt, Delpo kinda provides that on the men's side too (though you have to think that, in Rafa,  he’s now reached his natural limit at this stage of his comeback); and if Reeshie pulls off what we daren’t even conceive let alone mention, it would be a better story than just about everything else put together – I just think that’s about as likely as the creation of anti-matter.  (Update: Anti-matter, as suspected was not, and cannot be, created or destroyed – just like talent it seems)

To really grab your attention and run with it, a story needs to retain the bare essence of credibility. Which is what, I suggest, we have in spades in the women's draw.

Everyone knows what Bartolis capable of – one can only hope that losing here, if it happens, won’t have been because of the stomach flu that left her gasping for air against Ivanovic.

Had Peng survived Pova, she’d be aiming  to win her first tour title – you only need to have seen the measured, technically mature, and entirely professional way in which she held out to the very end, to understand why anyone gunning for that wouldn’t be partaking in some outlandish speculation. Far from it – a top 20 spot looks almost inevitable by the end of the year.

Where do you even begin with Pova?

It’s one thing to win a Slam (arguably beating history’s finest), bust your wrist and be forced to remain out of the game for a year; and entirely another to win three of them, spend almost half a decade at the top of the game (beating some of the best players EVER) and to then be locked out for the best part of two years from which you emerge able, only, to gingerly, cautiously feel your way back to bare-competence (an implicit sobering acceptance of how that “might never be” again, necessarily pervading the entire process).

Not simply bereft of your best weapon – once described (alongside Serena’s) as the best serve in the game – but in a particularly perverse poetry that might come straight out of ‘Black Swan’, to actually have it turn on you.  

All at the age of only 23.

Delpo fans have my full support – as does he –  but this is of an entirely different order of suffering, of self-awareness, of trajectory altogether.

Which is why I sat through her win over Peng, not just enthralled by the way she took hold of the match for a set and two games – something which, in any case, we already saw  against Safina – but by what came next.

With a win seemingly only a whisper away, Black Swan suddenly struck (she’d been lurking around striking lurid poses for while). Double fault quickly begat double fault, rapidly and perniciously smothering her drive, her movement, her confidence – her very soul you might say.

Anyone not moved by the way in which she gutsed her way through

that last set, drawing only on the innate reserves of mental strength she might only share with Rafa, has no business mingling in civilised society. Winning ugly doesn’t quite capture it  – it was almost more depraved than that.

Black Swan would have settled for nothing less.

So there you have it. Pova winning would almost represent a completion of a journey, a version of which Delpo will, in time, make in his own way. That time isn’t now – hastening it before its time might even prove counterproductive.

Bartoli battling stomach flu, back (quite impressively) from injury, capable of taking out anyone on her day, represents the alternative.

Even the obtrusive Wickmayer has, in some senses, earnt her stripes – whatever else you might think of her, her talent is undeniable.

Yep, I’m ALL ABOUT taking this #AnyoneButWoz thing to the nth degree.

(Pics: Getty)

Indian Wells: “Metaphysically” Back

 

It’s highly unlikely that I’ll ever warm to Little Miss Fistpump, but I do know and I do enjoy the look of a former champion on the mend.

JJ never got into the match and spent the better part of it on her back foot being overwhelmed by Ana’s pace.

Ana’s now as in her element as she might ever be – the serve still continuing  to crumble occasionally, though not in the spectacularly pernicious way that’s wrecked any sense of continuity she might otherwise have derived over the past two years.

The highly irritating bellicose ‘ajdes’ and fistpumps (which have now acquired an equally irritating wind-up motion) will likely continue to keep me underwhelmed. Where others see “motivation” and “spirit” I see only gamesmanship of the highest order. Which isn’t in itself a problem (if a little unwholesomely “in your face”): but let us please call it what it is.

My timeline was so completely swamped with adulation, it almost gushed straight through my monitor like some metaphysical scene from Inception.

 

I would go through some of  those very same emotions  hours later.

It seems to me that nothing, but nothing, hits the mark in this age of Kangaroo-pressers and ranking system paraphernalia, than to see one of the very best, the “old guard” (if at 23 you can be called that), cut through all the crap with a statement match like this.

The serve still holds her back, but on the basis of this performance Pova’s already (metaphysically) back in the top ten.

Try and imagine what she’d look like with a decent first serve.

Dinaroshka, serving aside, did all the right things this week. That’s mostly been down to her attempting to rally her way out of trouble rather than hitting the snot out of everything that comes her way. The new found patience (instilled, I imagine, by Sanguinetti) saw her able to fight her way past a troubled Stosur but also a Dani at the very top of her game.

The serve, at this point, barely qualifies as a “work in progess”. You’d have to be a really picky dirtbag to beat up on her for that.




I was live scoreboarding this one feverishly (mostly because Caro dropped the 1st set 6-2 – I really, REALLY want a new winner this week), clumsily trying to picture how it might all be playing out.

This is how it was actually playing out:



”Alisa Kleybanova of Russia misses on a forehand volley return to Caroline Wozniacki of Denmark during the BNP Paribas Open”. (Getty’s caption not mine) 

Can we all agree Alisa Kleybanova strikes the best decontextualised tennis poses ever? [Alise Cornet a very close second]



 

I know. I don’t believe it either.

If the future's Milos, then the future will have to wait. Fed plays Bieber in the quarters.

Indian Wells: Broken.

   
Trying this thing where I play “fly-on-the-wall” during Vika’s matches whilst pretending to ignore her. It’s working. I’ll very likely be enticed into watching her play Caro. Which is when the spell, I suspect, will be broken.

I WATCHED. AND MORE THAN JUST SPELLS WERE BROKEN.

After watching her leg buckle painfully under her, Sam Sumyk (not whispering for once) wisely advocated against risking further (more complicated) injury….on the off chance that she recovers in time for Miami.

Statement of the Bleedin Obvious: Thigh strain, Heatstroke, Serena Williams.......VIKA HAS ROTTEN ROTTEN LUCK. 

This’ll probably sound callous, but she has more chance of baking a cake made of anti-matter than being in ship-shape for Miami.

And if she somehow does manage to heal even partially, she’ll probably end up treading on a shard of glass whilst dodging a falling piano.

It’s almost immoral.

Get well soon.

Indian Wells: Whither Stosur?

Anyone that continues to ignore the ignoble immensity of Stosur’s troubles  since the new year began will have their work (spin-doctoring) cut out for them today.

I have (and continue to have ) every sympathy in the world with Del Popcorn/Dinaroshka. But let’s not pretend a large part (maybe all) of both matches didn’t reek.

Dinara served up around 16 doubles with her newly architected service motion – I believe Stosur gifted as many forehand errors. Dolgo, meanwhile, went AWOL for most of the 2nd set. Not just a little rough around the edges then.

Plenty to admire, particularly Dinara’s patience from the back of the court (that’s new) – but you’ve gotta think Kohls-Smiter and Pova will prove sterner respective tests. Or maybe not.

Indian Wells: “Brazen Hussies”

 

Dominika’s Law of Universal impudence: Capable giant slayers (like Domi) will only slay Goliaths in your tennis pool. Espesh blue-eyed ones with hot coaches.

 

Cibulkova d. Zvonareva 46 76(4) 64

Players like Domi and Rezai employ a brazenly simplistic hit’n miss formula.

Many people have a problem with this (and not just coz it’s one-dimensional). I don’t.

It’s not conventional. It certainly shouldn’t be taught. And you live, just as you must die, by the sword.

But let us please not pretend it has no place in the game. And let us please not pretend it’s not soul-stirringly hypnotic when they do connect. 

Without them, that sort of shameless audacity simply wouldn’t exist. Why would it? It’s idiocy.

Trouble is, if you entirely eliminate that idiocy from the game you remove the only elemental (madcap) force capable of pulling off the most suicidal of wins at the highest of levels – the occasional duffing up of a top five player forces the game to evolve in ways it might not otherwise see. Think of them as the mutants that create sufficient amounts of instability in a population that might otherwise lack for vitality, or worse, go sterile.

At its best you get the kind of apocalyptic run Aravane exhibited at Madrid last year. At its worst she goes down, like she did yesterday, flailing in a fug of her own insolence.

Sharapova d. Rezai 62 62

That’s not at all to say Pova didn’t play a contained, measured and entirely professional match – as good as anything I’ve seen from her in months.

It’s just difficult to know what to make of it and how much stock to place in it (which I totally want to do) without having had the match this was hyped up to be. Dinara next.

I have no idea what chance Domi stands against Wicks (Universal Impudence says she’ll flame out in straights) – players like her aren’t built for longevity, nor do they naturally lend themselves to any extrapolation.  I only know that I find it ironic that two of the fiercest ball strikers we have measure in at (or under) 5’5.

Where does that leave so called “Big Babe Tennis”?

(Pics: Getty)

Indian Wells: Because I’m Worth it.

Here we all so wonderfully are at the first post-Oz event of the year that actually amounts to something. I expect electricity, I expect sociopathic levels of belief (and denial), I expect the feeding frenzy that results when those, like myself, with the predictive capacity of mucus, indulge in a little quantum-bracketology of their own. I  also expect some very poor trash-talk between Nole and Fed.

 

Maybe I’m just half a wavelength behind everyone, but it doesn’t quite feel like that just yet.

What it actually feels like is a benign form of stasis in which all the best stories are yet to develop, or haven’t yet acquired the momentum necessary to elicit the type of considered tennis reaction that goes beyond sticking bubble gum in your detractors’ hair, or breaking wind and running away– not that either of those isn’t an entirely sensible way of settling tennis disputes.

I’ve got some strong feelings on why I don’t think winning here would strongly benefit all but a handful of the top players. Woz, for example, is darned either way: Win, and face all those malignant, ‘Slamless’, ranking-related questions again. Lose, and any pretensions she might entertain of being mentioned in the same breath as Clijsters evaporate into thin air.

Muzz occupies a similar role – winning would certainly go a long way to snapping him out of his (now traditional) post-Oz runners-up stupor; and yet he owns 6 of these things already. The lack of that other more crucial “thing” is what’s causing the psychosis.

 

What would a win really do for Kim or for Fed’s legacy (other than, in his case, dispelling that grim and quite inexplicable fog of “dysfunktion” that’s loomed over him both here and at Miami for the last 4 years)?

Can Rafa really care all that much knowing he can safely look forward to claiming 4, if not 5, out of the 5 clay court events he’ll likely enter this year?

 

Wish all of them well, but here’s what will really light my fire:

1) Bepa: The best WTA performer right now (and playing as well as she’s ever likely to ) – that single title she’s won at this level (at this venue in fact) is beginning to smack more and more of underperformance.

2) Sod: as I think I’ve said before , I really don’t believe he’s done himself justice having won only a single title at this level (very) late last year. He’s actually still playing catch-up with his potential.

 

3) Sveta: see above comments about Bepa’s “underperformance” and then multiply by 50.

4) Delpo: Two consecutive semis and an entirely commendable mickey-mouse title. A Masters title makes the comeback official. Somewhat ludicrously, it would be his first.

 

5) Any one of a gang of bright (and entirely ruthless) young things like Dolgo, Milos, Petra or even Kanepi to bring about a bloody coup – a killing spree that results in the partial reconfiguration of the rankings and ownership of the tour’s main titles. 

I’m entirely serious. I’m not normally one for “next big things”, but it seems to me we’ve faffed around with Grigor and Ernie for long enough – conditions seem ripe as they’ve ever been for something a little different.

And because, they’re worth it. All of them.

Indian Wells: Don’t EVER “Colour me Surprised”

(Photo by Jeff Gross/Getty Images)

-- Please don’t tell me you saw this one coming. Please don’t reverse-engineer/retrofit your analyses of the last 5 days to make it sound like you “liked the look” of Ljubicic all week (I still find myself liking the look of Ernie, doesn’t mean that Delray Beach won’t remain his crowning achievement for a very long time). And please, please don’t “colour me surprised”. DON’T EVER “colour me surprised”.

-- If you really did see this coming (and aren’t currently under the tutelage of the Mad Hatter), I can only assume you have already made your fortune as the tipsters’ tipster, and are at this moment reading this comfortably ensconced in your newly acquired $190,000/square metre 2nd floor apartment in Avenue Princess Grace, Monaco - all forms of tennis speculation now mostly behind you.

-- Anyone that defeats Djoko, Nadal and A-Rod consecutively and as convincingly as Ljuby did, deserves the title more than either of those three and certainly more than anyone else. I’d like to see Ljuby replicate this form at the Slams, except they are indeed “different animals”. Just like the man said they were.

-- I made much of what Rafa and Soderling had to gain by winning here, but it occurs to me that the most patently radical measure of “worthiness” the least loaded definition of “deserving”, simply involves winning 7 matches in a row – beating three top tenners enroute (two of which are top four) further underlines said worthiness.

-- Roddick played an exceptionally clean and, I would say, tactically mature first set – only to be unceremoniously upstaged in a tie break. Ljuby was the better server with Roddick seemingly the more confident from the baseline.

-- Both appeared more vulnerable in set two. Roddick could probably have taken more chances: there was clearly a sense that Ljuby would have fared less well without that monster of a serve of his. Except he wasn’t without it.

-- At the risk of sounding like a broken record, Ljuby ’s Serve was a rock: the significance of this cannot be emphasised enough. Without it, I suspect he would have been broken at least once in set two.

I might be wrong about this, and it’s certainly true that a third set may have gone either way, but I don’t think Ljuby looked particularly fit or able to go at it tooth and nail for another hour – it’s as well he served it out when he did. Which of course he almost didn’t.

-- It wasn’t all about the serve though – Ljuby had had real purpose behind those smooth, rolling groundies of his all week.

-- The backhand is of course, a thing of beauty. Ljuby takes special pride in dispatching high bouncing single handed backhands, which he does better than just about anyone else in the game – his height and uncomplicated, repeatable motion inevitably play their part in bringing that about. Should we be that surprised he coped with Rafa’s forehand to that wing rather betterer than Federer might have?

-- Some of his forehand winners were also right up there with anything we saw from Big Rob. No really. And yes I am still in mourning after that semi final loss.

-- If anything, I’d say he looked rather less confident at the net than he had all week. Somewhat easier now, to be able to relive that very Golden Ljuby-Mario Davis Cup partnership from 5 years ago, no?

(Photo by Jeff Gross/Getty Images)

-- First off, what’s with the kryptonite-like trophies that the winner can’t even lift, much less pose with (a hastily constructed plinth was eventually arranged)? Ljuby -- all 6’4” of him -- probably only managed it after a clean-and-jerk.

-- Why the lengthy, droning monologue plugging BNP Paribas (at least three times in every sentence) that would have seen Dr Seuss scrambling for cover?

And if we really must (economic climate being what it is, BNP Paribas does represent quite a conquest), how about we get that out of the way before summoning up the Champion for their trophy? Instead of making her hang around awkwardly like a ball girl, I mean.

-- I don’t intend to philosophise very much about whether JJ is ‘back’ or not. Well, maybe just a little then.

My antennae were fully attuned after her fourth round clash with Errani (a player not as obviously endearing as her compatriots Franny and Flavlova maybe, but just as compelling).

She seemed a little displaced in her subsequent matches electing to do as little as possible to get through.

The final saw a return to a level of play not that far removed from late 2007.

-- JJ’s movement and defensive skills are well known. What’s less frequently a feature of any commentary surrounding her, is the incredible knack she has of playing the right shot at the right time, the length she gets on her DHB in particular and how uniquely adept she is at moving her opponent around (and off balance).

-- Her well-publicised lack of a knockout blow (or one which packs any meaningful weight) is a matter of public record. But it also means she sometimes gets unfairly cast as a ‘pusher’.

-- Let there be no mistake about this: unless she’s playing truly awful (which she has been all too frequently over the last year), JJ does go for her winners – just not as early as some of her colleagues. The fact that they lack bite, does not turn her into a pusher. Or at least that’s the way I see it until I’m swept away by the next revisionists’ reawakening.

-- Wozniacki played poorly, perhaps not a patch on any of her performances this week. But not only did I expect JJ to out manoeuvre her – I loved that she out manoevred her.

-- This was a textbook case of the headgirl beating up on the young fledgling – and tossing her head whilst doing so. Not at her opponent, but almost in surprise at how effortless and painless it can all be when it comes so naturally. By which I mean there were smiles to be had. Plenty of smiles.

-- Woz did make a few half-hearted, desperate attempts at reeling off some winners (you can generally count her total winners over the course of a match on one hand) – but really, never was the need to break out of her comfort zone more amply demonstrated.

We actually got a sneak preview of the carnage that was to follow in the semis against Aggy – a match made completely unwatchable by the proclivity of both players to refrain from anything that might be construed as “stepping out a little”.

-- Whilst it’s true Caz-Woz has plenty of time to develop that elusive WMD, it’s also true that any player worth their salt (and with more sting on their groundies) wouldn’t have given her half as much time on court. Noteworthy too I think, that both here and at the US Open last year she didn’t face a single elite gunslinger.

If she is to be considered a contender against the likes of the Williamses, Clijsters and Henin, she’ll need to locate those WMDs sooner rather than later. I say she’s not looking hard enough. Or in the right place.

Indian Wells: ‘Meet-and-Not-Greet’

Easier to let the (moving) images do the talking, no?

Big Rob firing backhand slices that leave Murray (of all people) spitting blood?

This match was always in danger of being the subject of misanalysis in one of two ways:

1) Robin having a let down, and the subsequent high UFE count resulting in Murray’s dink-a boos being credited as the height of “crafty tennis”.

2) Murray being free-wheeled off court by Robin’s abominable big swingers, resulting in those all too familiar accusations of Murray’s passiveness.

We’ve had some of (2), though thankfully not very much.

He could have served better perhaps, but really, Murray was never going to win this one without some kind of a let down from Robin – and that hasn’t come all week.

All of which brings us to the question of Rafa.

Never has the possibility of a meet-and-not-greet between the two had so little to do with ill-will and so much to do with what actually happens on court.

For Rafa, a win here on Sunday must be said to represent a very welcome line under the unwholesome happenings of the last ten months – even if it leaves me less than convinced that every last one of those questions that remain over his fitness have suddenly dissipated into thin air.

For Robin, it would underline his deserved top ten status and truly announce him to the unconverted few as the real deal. I wouldn’t imagine there’s that many.

Indian Wells: “Didn’t see HIM coming”

(Photo by Jeff Gross/Getty Images)

If there is to be anything more surprising than the upsets we’ve seen this week, it’s surely the way Big Rob keeps slipping under everyone’s radar.

I don’t get it (not least because he doesn’t seem like someone that adept at “slipping under” anything).

The ripples generated by his win over Rafa last year were so forceful they actually crossed over into other sports - there can be no pleading ignorance on the grounds you “didn’t see him coming”.

Form? Straight sets win over all his opponents, sometimes in the most devastating way imaginable (c.f. Jo-Wilfried). Ok, so you could say the same about A-Rod (there’s not been that many tongues wagging about him either), except he didn’t have to play Korolev, Lopez and Tsonga.

I’m not ready to make anyone my pick this year (it’s been that sort of event) though you could do a lot worse.

Murray will need to be at his most tactically astute and put shed-loads of first serves in to even get a look in.

***

It may not be the line up you expected, but the fact remains: all four womens semi finalists are top ten players (or very soon will be).

Jankovic – Puzzling. Her match against Errani, despite the high UFE count, was amongst the best of the week, featuring movement and shot selection not seen from her in well over a year.

Not half as convinced with her performance against Kleybanova – who only showed up for a couple of games midway through set two. Shame – it’ll do wonders for JJ’s confidence to win this thing, but she’s not going to get away with the same mistake twice.

Radwanska – Equally puzzling. She actually seemed to match Bartoli’s pace – which is a day I never thought I’d live to see, but reverted back to her unique brand of slight-framed tomfoolery against a Dementieva who, to be frank, wasn’t at the races.

Wozniacki – Nothing Woz does ever comes close to inspiring me much – that doesn’t mean it’s not effective. She’s never willing to step out of her comfort zone – I don’t actually know that that there's that much to step out to. With the four remaining semifinalists however, she might not need to.

Stosur – I quite like what Stosur brings to the WTA, though I haven’t been much impressed this time round. She’ll be a top tenner on Monday, though is playing a shocker against JJ as we speak.

Indian Wells: Playing Catch Up

So a busy couple of days and my neighbour deciding to scaffold over the cable that brings in my sat signal minutes before they’re due to broadcast highlights of Baggy’s win over Fed, mean I’m a little behind, and a little out of sorts.

It also means I’ve largely relied on 2nd hand accounts to piece together an understanding of what happened.

Still gotta say this though.

Fancy THAT?

(Photo by Matthew Stockman/Getty Images)

From what I can tell, the main talking point appears to be Fed’s inability to make good on no less than three match points. Which I’ll be the first to admit is a little scary.

It also seems obligatory to recognise that this hasn’t taken place since Rome 2006 – so let me do the same, although it’s there I’d say the similarities end.

Let me add one more: Baggy has been away for too long, and he’s too good a player not to take advantage of Fed-Long-Shanks lapsing the night away.

[20] I Ljubicic (CRO) d [2] N Djokovic (SRB) 75 63

Only caught the last few games of this.

Djoko’s been complaining of “not feeling the ball” all week - when you consider the amount of three setters he’s played since Dubai, this should hardly be surprising. Throw in an emotionally charged Davis Cup Tie and you can see why he might rather be inclined to wilt in the desert.

That said, and even if you discount the way he fended off those three match points opposite Kohlschreiber, I still didn’t expect this result.

At first I put it down to big serving from the Gentle Giant (who did win over 70% of the points on his first serve), but then learnt he also hit twice the winners Djoko did.

I hadn’t followed him much at this event, but I will now.

A Radwanska (POL) d E Dementieva (RUS) 6-3 6-3

"I was so slow. I was reaching for the ball instead of going forward and attacking her second serve," she told AFP.

"She slowed down the game a lot and mixed it up a lot. You have to be very aggressive. You have to step forward. You have to create something. I was way too slow."

-- Elena Dementieva, CNN

Were it anyone else, and I’d be sorely disappointed for Elena. With Henin, Clijsters and anyone else considered a “contender” (what ever that means these days) out before the quarters, I was almost ready to declare this event was ‘hers for the taking’.

Then I remembered how I’d already jinxed out the other half of the top ten. It seems I possess a greater talent for picking upsets than winners.

Still, so glad to see this, even if it’s at the expense of one of my favourite players.

It was first apparent when she came through against Bartoli (a match I expected her to lose).

Still unsure of when or how it happened, but make no mistake - Aggy, since the last time I saw her, has transfigured herself into a badass mutant ball striker. As ‘mutant’ as her slight frame will allow.

She’s always had the guile, that intangible ability to get heftier opponents off balance and wondering why they’re losing points they were largely in control of – a quality that’s led her to being compared to Hingis.

I prefer to think of her as ‘Agnieszka’ - and her less-overtly aggressive brand of tennis as born of her own instincts.

[3] R Nadal (ESP) d [15] J Isner (USA) 75 36 63

Isner may have faded into insignificance in that last set, but with Rafa playing as well as he is, deserves all kinds of props for pushing him as hard as he did in sets one and two.

I don’t do so very often, but I find my hand forced in declaring John Isner a ‘top tenner-in-waiting’ on the tenuous grounds that he’s “So much more than a serve and a forehand”.

As for Rafa, yes he’s playing as well as he was in Oz, perhaps even better – yes,we all know how that ended – no, I don’t get the feeling the same will happen again.

On the other hand it’s all too premature to begin declaring the title as “his for the taking”, now that Fed and Djoko have left the building.

In any case, and taking form and history into account, it’s more natural right now to think of Soderling and Berdych as greater threats.

[6] R Soderling (SWE) d [9] J Tsonga (FRA) 63 64

I loved the look of of both La Monf and Tsonga as they marched into this event. They both seemed charged up with a euphoric intensity I put down to that recent Davis Cup win over Germany (Ok, so that’s kind of Monfils’ default “game face” anyway).

Tonight Jo-Willy learned the hard way that big serving and starry-eyes alone do not suffice, as all six of his lights were roundly punched out.

Big Rob has been working his way through the draw under everyone’s radar, seemingly happy to embrace his fate as the “player everyone loves to hate and who takes down the players they simply love”

Being a fan of Mr Jellybeans myself, I need not explain why this isn’t the way I feel, or if anything, why that’s rather an integral part of the charm.

It’s difficult to see what Jo could have done any differently, as he he was prevented by Big Rob’s penetrating flatties from his usual go-to of coming to the net.

The sight of a Frenchman stationed metres behind the baseline is one that fills me with revulsion and a pleasure I usually forego. As it stands, I have no reproof for young Jo today, just bags of actual compassion and heaps of jellybeans.

***

A week or so before news of Vaidisova’s retirement broke, I remember reading of her defeat to 17 year old Heather Watson of GB in the first round of the Tangipahoa Tennis Classic – an ITF event – and thinking to myself that she really ought to have a long hard think about her future in this game.

The media have all but given up making any mention of her – unless that is they want to wheel out the odd overly-worn contextualisation of Ivanovic’s ailing form.

With that it mind, it comes as little surprise to learn she is said to “have tired of losing and lacks the desire to grind her way back”.

I couldn’t help however, feeling a slight lump in my throat, when reminded that she made the quarters of Wimbledon as recently as 2008: 20 months does seem astonishingly fast for a demise of this magnitude.

20 years, on the other hand, seems a little young to settle down (she's to marry Stepanek in July) – did I mention it also leaves ample time to ‘unretire’?

Indian Wells: Playstation II

(Photo by Matthew Stockman/Getty Images)

Zheng d. Sharapova 6-3 2-6 6-3

"She's like a ball machine," Sharapova said. "She hits a lot of balls back, hits them hard and deep.

"I mean, I'd say I should have done a much better job on her serve, because her serve is definitely one of her weaker parts of the game, but… "

--Yahoo Sports

WTA – you have your Playstation.

Quite similar to what Ivanovic had to say of her after her 2008 loss to Zheng at Wimbledon. Particularly the hard and deep part.

Zheng definitely troubles the tall girls – especially those that can’t keep themselves from firing 14 double faults and 49 UFEs.

I’m no longer much convinced that shoulder biomechanics have anything much to do with this. The injury may be what got her into this position in the first place, but this particular malady just became systemic, and it’s currently working it’s toxins into her groundies.

(Photo by Matthew Stockman/Getty Images)

Djokovic d. Kohlschreiber 6-3 2-6 7-6 (7-3)

Yeah…I’m actually kinda glad I got hold of this shot, because since late last year, I put it to you all that Djoko’s service action has become more and more…..‘clubby’ – by which I mean that there’s now barely any bend in his arm at all.

His serve was always a little nuanced like that – the effect has been more pronounced in recent months. Viewed side on, it’s almost like he’s pushing the ball over.

None of which had any bearing on the match of course

Kohlschreiber’s always a good bet to bag a top ten scalp – today he held three match points, before going down in three.

It was never going to be easy, perhaps even incomplete to leave Djoko with anything other than another three set win.

(Photo by Matthew Stockman/Getty Images)

Federer d. Hanescu 6-3 6-7 (5-7) 6-1

Fed’s victory over Hanescu was another ‘routine’ affair. By which I mean the obligatory lapsed set.

Douglas Perry preferred to focus on the lapse. Tignor preferred to debunk the cool clinical mystique– painting Fed as “agitated” and “making the most of getting scared” (he should know, seated up front with the bigwigs, only a row or two behind Larry Ellison).

There’s a lot to agree with in both those analyses – I just found it all a little blah.

Which is probably a good thing at this stage in the game.

And it might be the new choppy hairdo, but that’s the most un-Federer like Federer photo I’ve seen in a while.

Indian Wells: “The Taller they are…” oh never mind

(Photo by Harry How/Getty Images)

Nothing much that has happened in womens tennis since 2007 has surprised me very much.

A few days back I made rather too much of Oudin’s opening round exit.

Since then, Henin, Kuznetsova and Ivanovic have all followed suit – the last of which will result in her ejection out of the world’s top fifty, a position she’s not been in since 2004.

I’m almost sorry I put together those “Upsets waiting to happen”.

Ana? So funked out it’s not even funny any more. Not sure anything anyone can say right now will make any difference – though can we start by NOT trotting out the tired Vaidasova analogies? (we can only hope that losing to a 17 year old in the opening round of an ITF eventisn’t a fate that awaits her).

Kuzzie? A walking, talking, breathing embodiment of the hit-and-miss metaphor; within hours of that loss yesterday she was making plans to fly to the cosmos on her twitter feed (no really).

(Photo: AFP)

Following Sveta’s tweets is not actually that dissimilar to following her performances on court – mostly a disjointed, incoherent and slightly garbled experience. Not that difficult actually to imagine her making galaxy visitation plans in between first and second serves.

Henin? Puzzling, though not wholly inexplicable.

Her game has been in a state of flux since her comeback began, with a big first serve and more overall aggression at the heart of her well-publicised agenda. I’m gradually warming to the idea of more pace on that first serve – not remotely convinced her groundstrokes are in need of any change at all.

Though should we be that surprised she’s struggling to reinvent herself after nearly two years out of the game?

The Williamses absence always makes IW something of an alternate universe.

You know you’re witnessing peculiarity when Sveta and Caz-Woz are the top two seeds.

Throw in a a string of pullouts, a charity event that turns out to be more awkward than Taylor Swifts acceptance speech and you have fertile grounds for further upsets not less.

Shaza and Zheng Jie on court as I speak.

Maybe I should have kept my choice of upsets to myself.

Indian Wells: Hit for ‘Hatey’

Shame that a single moment of madness overshadowed what was otherwise a successful event.

Sequels aren’t usually half as good as the original, and this was never going to capture Oz’s uncut feel.

Pete was as Pete is and Pistols usually are – as singular and sober as ever.

Rafa appeared in awe of everything and everyone around him – funny so many are intent on putting this down to language difficulties, you don’t need me to reiterate that this wasn’t the case in Oz.

Fed pitched in nicely, and made things as pleasant as he was allowed to.

Then there was Andre , who I thought was rather over-animated from the get go.

Nothing wrong with that considering this was for Haiti and that philanthropy rather runs in his blood. Except when you try too hard and for too long, bad things sometimes happen.

I never thought the valet tipping revelations in ‘Open’ were that great an idea, or even remotely appropriate.

The book had already garnered enough shock appeal from his revelations about drug use. Ending it with what seemed a callous and cheap shot at someone as decorated and illustrious as Sampras – an opponent he shared a decades worth of defining tennis history with -- only seemed acceptable after I’d convinced myself he’d been in touch with Pete’s people about it’s inclusion prior to publication.

Not so, as Pete’s disappointment would soon reveal.

Reiterating the episode as a ‘joke’ in front of 16,000 people assembled at a charity event however, would have to be said to represent the poorest of taste - an obvious miscalculation perhaps – but still in the poorest of taste: Andre should indeed have known better.

I’m less keen however, in the suppositions of those anxious to make more of this spat than it allows.

The opportunity to see (and hear) Fed emitting mock Rafa-Growls with a baseball cap worn backwards has got to be worth a million alone.

Was Andre really stoned off his head when he came to play last night? Rumours abound about his bloodshot eyes. Rumours I don’t much care for frankly – though he did look like a pile of nerves when Gimelstob attempted to smooth over those ruffled feathers in the changeover that followed that stinger which Pete had fired directly at him.

To think that James LaRosa thought it would be Henin’s first round outage that would make things awkward.

Play nicely next time boys.